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Joaquin Phoenix
Actor
That weird Andy Kaufman–esque thing where you filmed yourself pretending to rap badly? Even if you made a great documentary about it, I'm not seeing it. In fact, deep down, I'm pretty sure you were really just trying to rap.
Lyndon LaRouche
Political extremist
After eight tries, it's time to give up the running-for-President thing. You're starting to seem like Ralph Nader.
Clarence Thomas
Supreme Court Justice
Still hasn't talked from the bench. Not sure he's even paying attention.
Matthew Balan
Contributor, NewsBusters
Rick Sanchez told me to put him on because they got in a fight about whether Sanchez was serious or kidding about being surprised that volcanoes exist in cold places like Iceland. I forgot to ask Rick what category he thinks Balan should go in, but I was short on morons, so I put him here.
Selma
Ex–lead technician at the clinic in Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew on VH1
When you're fired for getting in a fight with Kari Ann Peniche (the woman who was naked in that video with Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart and who was herself thrown out of both VH1's Sober House and VH1's Sex Rehab), you are not highly valued.
Carrie Prejean
Former Miss California
Two things you can't do: 1) Make a sex tape after talking about how immoral gay people are, 2) Make a sex tape without any sex in it.
Nadya Suleman
Octomom
No one really cares anymore.
Shanmugam Kumaran Tharmalingam
Ex–rebel leader
After 33 years of trying to separate from Sri Lanka, your Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam were defeated. Then you got arrested. Now I'll go visit Sri Lanka.
Tom Leykis
Radio host
The misogynist shock jock lost his radio show when his L.A. station changed from all talk to all Lady Gaga. Now, once a week, he has a show in which he talks about wine, where his chance of becoming Robert Parker is about the same as his chance of getting sommeliers to show him their boobs.
Apple Employee Who Left the New iPhone Prototype at a Bar
Heavy drinker
He's not being given a lot of responsibility at work right now.
David Shuster
Ex–MSNBC reporter
Shooting a pilot for a rival network (CNN) without asking your bosses is a pretty easy way to get suspended. Also, you should have shot a better pilot.
David Paterson
New York governor
A year after Eliot Spitzer got caught with a hooker, and everyone likes Spitzer better. The President flew to meet you just to tell you to give up the governor's race. And you said no. Now you literally have less power in the party than Spitzer.
Mike Ovitz
Founder of Creative Artists Agency
This guy has lost so much power in Hollywood that despite my fledgling sitcom-writing career, I'm not afraid to put him on the list.