(8 of 26)
You would have killed a father like mine. He tells me I'm good for nothing, that I won't be nothing in the future. But I'm going to be a scientist, or a medical assistant, or something. You know why he tells me I'm no good? 'Cause he's no good. Everybody always told him he's no good, and he's going to tell his children they're no good.
Last night after the fight he held the door open for me, when we were going out. I never saw him do that before. But I wouldn't go through. I just let him hold the door until he got tired of holding it, and then he went through and I went through on my own. No way I was going to let him hold that door for me.
IV MARY PAUL
There was a time when Geraldine was convinced that Mary Paul was a saint. She is not at all sure now that she wasn't right about that, but Geraldine did not see the point in treating Mary Paul like a saint if she also wanted to work at her side. The glow was bound to get her down. As a young nun, Geraldine was in awe of Mary Paul's combination, as she put it, of heart and head. Still, she thought, Mary Paul is 20 years my senior. When I'm her age, I'm bound to be smarter myself. She cherishes Mary Paul's high seriousness and contemplative nature. Mary Paul cherishes Geraldine's vivacity, goodness and sense of fun. The only severe blowup in the 25 years of their friendship came when Geraldine began to fear that Mary Paul would die someday, so she acted ornery as a pre- emptive strike.
At 65, Mary Paul looks very far from dying. Her dark brown hair not only shows no gray but seems to reflect the deep blue of her habit. Her face is soft, cheeks puffed like a doll's. Her eyes, also deep blue, are a girl's eyes, her voice soft as a girl's, yet firm and untentative. She is very small. Sitting in an armchair in the upstairs convent of the center, she must lean forward so as not to be swallowed in the cushions.
"As a girl I never thought of being a nun. I wanted to be a teacher. I was a bookish little kid, very serious always. Unlike Geraldine, I did not go to Catholic school. Religion only began to interest me when I was halfway through Hunter College, and then mainly as a subject for contemplation. I read a good deal. Books such as Thomas a Kempis' The Imitation of Christ, which I cannot stand now. Thomas a Kempis said the more one goes into the world, the less one becomes. That's not true at all. The more you go into the world, the more you are."