(12 of 26)
There are so many things to tell you, but I never tell you. I try my best, but I'm not happy, even though I make believe. I worry for my family which now is in danger. Don't you f-----g understand? My father is dangerous. Right now he lost control. We have to get away from him, but he's then not gonna have anybody. He broke the thermometer of the apartment and the boiler is becoming into flames. I don't know if this letter will reach you. I can't sleep. He screams out of control. Everyone in the house is awake at 12:30. I don't know if we'll ever sleep today. I just can't hold on too long. Every day I think of leaving a message to some friends and teachers and throwing myself from the school's roof. I always think of that. How about my sisters? If I die it will be better because it was gonna happen anyway . . . Things will be much easier away from him, my life, my school work, my health and my eyes. I hate. I have to kill him someday, take his brains out, slashing his face and my mother's too, if she cries.
Dear Geraldine:
Hi. I don't want to interrupt when you're busy. But I've been thinking I don't have to put up with all the garbage my father says. I know they're not true, but they really hurt. They hurt because no matter how I try to say that he's not my father, I can't say that to myself. He's my father, and he's the worst enemy I ever had.
Dear Geraldine:
The Purchase application is inside the black and blue book . . . I don't have an application from Queens. Should I call that lady? . . . I'm making a new + list of applications to send. Could you review it with me?
Dear Ms. Geraldine:
I'm not trying to make you show that you care because I already know that. I want you to know that you're a good example that I will like someday to follow. If you had the time, I know you would of liked to help the whole world. Not to become affluence, but because it is something you enjoy to do. See, I use a big word (affluence). Geraldine, what is wrong is that I expect you to do everything for me . . . I expect you to make my decisions . . . P.S. I'm going to change because it's something I've been avoiding.
Dear Geraldine:
I'm going to write that I love you because I can't say it. You're a wonderful person, your personality and all. Before I used to think that only your own race cares for you. That's not true is it? If it's true don't tell me. Anyway I'm never forgetting about you. When I move to college I want you to visit me and I will write to you . . . P.S. If you feel that I'm talking foolishly, well too bad. If you're getting tired, tell me. And if you want to finish with me after a couple of years, tell me, O.K.? Don't hide it.
VII TONY, INGRID AND
MARYANNE
"Can you explain the process so that an outsider can understand it? What exactly happens in these counseling sessions?"
"We talk. We observe, we listen and we talk. That's all there is to it. At our first meeting, I will introduce myself fairly formally: 'I am Maryanne Sabatino, I'm a professional staff member here at the center,' and so forth. Then we'll begin. It's hard to see anything clearly for a while. You visited Tony and Ingrid for the first time this morning. What did you see?"