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And parental interest shouldn't be limited to the classroom, for many of life's lessons are learned in the extracurriculars. As Harvard's Weiss says, "A parent may not have the time to coach a team but you sure as heck better get to the game." And pay close attention. Atlanta dad and soccer coach David Black remembers looking to the father of a timid 8-year-old forward to shout a few words of encouragement as his daughter went charging down the field, only to find that Dad was talking on a cell phone and riffling through a manila envelope during his daughter's shining moment. Says Black: "I don't think he even noticed she was on the field."
Studies show that parental involvement drops off drastically in the teenage years--a full 50% between sixth and ninth grades. But research likewise shows that parents who back off in the face of teen surliness are making a big mistake at a time when students are making academic decisions with real consequence for their future.
What can schools do to encourage that engagement? Here are five ideas that are showing results:
--DO LUNCH. When parents resisted coming to events at school, teachers in Norton, Mass., got scores of families to turn out for free ice cream at a McDonald's Math and Science Night. Another evening, about 300 headed to the local Roche Bros. supermarket. Over free samples of sauteed scallops, chips and cake, teachers explained the state's new math and science standards and gave parents creative, do-at-home activities to help explore with their kids the finer points of density and the decimal system. As parents shopped, teachers conducted impromptu conferences with some they hadn't set eyes on all year.
Helen Chaset, principal of Burning Tree Elementary in the tony Washington suburb of Bethesda, Md., began scheduling meetings with parents at the board room of a District of Columbia law firm convenient to the offices where many worked. Her first brown-bag lunch there was packed with 25 parents--two-thirds of whom Chaset had never seen at a group meeting before. "There is an element of guilt because you just can't be there all the time," says Gail Scott, a lawyer for the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission and mother of three who made time for the luncheon.
--GIVE PARENTS REAL POWER. In place of feeble PTAs, many districts have sanctioned so-called school-improvement teams that give parents a powerful hand in everything from hiring and firing teachers to selecting the texts their children will study. Five years ago, parents and teachers at Conway Middle School in Louisville were "enemies," according to principal Steve St. Claire. So he invited parents to take part in teacher-training sessions, where they helped develop guidelines for grading student work. When the state released the school's standardized test scores, parents and teachers analyzed them together. And the school invited students to lead their own parent-teacher conferences, explaining what they were--and weren't--learning. It was probably no accident that this school year, Conway reached the "rewards" level on Kentucky's standardized exam, which means that a significant percentage of students scored higher than average. And the school now has to turn away families from across the county who'd like to enroll their children.