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Such talk, long limited to hushed exchanges in the faculty lounge, has broken into the open. Because teachers are increasingly held to stricter performance standards, they are demanding the same of parents. "We're now discovering that even small class sizes with the best teachers and best materials may not be enough to fix a school," says Heather Weiss, director of Harvard's Family Research Project. "If you get parents on board then you've got a better shot." To lure them back, schools are doing everything from sending teachers on house calls to giving parents a larger role in school reform. The moves are backed by new federal legislation that says a school won't get money unless it proves that its parents are getting involved.
Dropout parents are found across the spectrum of income and education. Low-income couples and single moms often juggle multiple jobs, and have little time or energy for teacher conferences or homework help. Professional couples with two demanding careers often view the schools as subcontractors whom they pay, through hefty taxes, to fill ever more complex roles: as babysitters, coaches, cops, nurses, therapists and surrogate parents. These extra burdens come at a time when teachers face rising pressure to show results in the classroom. Isabelle Carduner, a French teacher at Huron High School in Ann Arbor, Mich., says too many parents are "overextended with their jobs. When I tell them there's a problem with their kids, they literally say, 'You handle it.' That's the group that frustrates me the most."
To be sure, parental frustrations are running equally high. Moms and dads accustomed to the instant gratification of e-mail can spend dizzying days trying to connect with teachers, many of whom don't have computers or voicemail. For many working parents, meeting a teacher between 8 a.m. and 3 p.m. is simply impossible.
Both schools and parents need to change. Joyce Epstein, a professor at Johns Hopkins University who has spent two decades studying children, families and schools, has found that parental involvement in a child's education--more than a family's educational background--can be one of the strongest predictors of a child's academic success. Activities like sitting on school steering committees and running capital campaigns, which may make parents feel committed, have a negligible effect on kids' achievements. Much more fruitful are the connections parents make with their children at home, dissecting what happened in class that day or puzzling over an assignment together. And teachers can help spark those discussions. In a yearlong study, Epstein tracked 700 Baltimore middle schoolers from families with little formal education whose teachers imposed a new rule: the students were required to discuss their language-arts homework with a family member. Result: higher grades and more enthusiastic writers.