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Darlene, a captain in the Maryland Army National Guard, runs a tight ship. "Homework is when they come in the door," she insists. "They see nothing, do nothing, until homework is done, and the saxophone is part of that requirement." Donny seems to relish this kind of structure and has a firm grasp on his complicated schedule of sports practices, music lessons, church classes and other commitments. He isn't one to procrastinate: his basketball coach and music teacher marvel at Donny's enthusiasm, even for repetitive drills and scales. "It's such an insight for kids to know the power of practice at such a young age!" muses Devlin. As for his mom's homework-first policy, no problem. Says Donny: "I made it up myself!"
Do most good students crack their books the minute they get home? Are the Williams-family rules the way to success? Not necessarily. Bismarck Paliz likes to work late at night. "I've had projects due the next day, and I've had to stay up till 5 a.m.," he says. His multimedia work style horrifies his mother: "He has the TV on, the headphones on his ears, and he's doing his homework on the computer," says Wadette Paliz with a shudder. But she doesn't argue with success. Stephen George has also been known to do homework with the television blaring. "Initially I objected," says his father Stephen Sr., "but he convinced me he was able to focus."
If there is a rule on homework, it's this: let them do it in the way that works for them. Not every child needs silence and a desk facing the wall. Not every child can settle down to the task right after school.
Another rule on homework: be involved, but not too much. Math-homework sessions at Mike Terry's house used to end in tears. "I would lose patience with him," admits Tom Terry, who excelled in math as a youth. "Comparing him to the ways I might have done things at his age didn't work." He had to learn to be less overbearing and to see things from his son's point of view. "We care passionately about how he's doing, but we're just calmer on the outside." Says Mike's mother Karen: "Kids are not vending machines, where you put in a quarter and then a certain product comes out. There's only so much you can do, and then you have to sit back and wave at them."
The same rule applies to parental involvement with the school: be involved, but make sure it's constructive. Parents of successful students are advocates for their child but are supportive, rather than combative, toward the school. "These aren't parents who blame you and want to know why the system didn't come through for their child," says Shirley Harden, principal of Winand Elementary, Donny Williams' alma mater. "They want to know how they can work with you and make things best for their kids."
STAND UP AND CHEER
Sarah Seidman, 17, arrives home from school bearing a deep-blue bowl intricately glazed with a silhouetted tree, its branches looping over the rim and into the bowl's basin. "Oh, my God, that's beautiful!" exclaims her mom Ilene about her daughter's handiwork. Pottery is just one of Sarah's talents. The Brookline, Mass., senior is an honor-roll student, co-captain of the tennis team, a painter and an activist against racism. Her parents, both busy professionals, manage to be there to applaud it all.