(5 of 5)
Other family advocates view such measures as misguided. Putting fault back in divorce, says Gold-Bikin, enables "people to be very vindictive, and it allows lawyers to make a lot of money." If unhappily married people want out, they will find a way to get out. During the days when fault was enforced, notes DePaul University law professor Jane Rutherford ominously, "there were two things that increased--desertion rates and spousal homicide rates."
Reweaving the threads of our tattered social institutions is an admirable aim, but many women will settle for the more attainable goal of retrieving their lost self-esteem. And that, say many, is what makes The First Wives Club so uplifting. "They did something constructive with the money [by setting up a crisis center] and left you feeling that they were not bitter, bitchy women," says Beverly Hills therapist Carole West. Sugar Rautbord, a divorced Chicago socialite and author of the novel Sweet Revenge, agrees. "It's not about going off a cliff like Thelma and Louise did," she explains. "It's get down to earth, raise your children, get a bank account, buy your own boat, put yourself in a position to get even if you want to."
Birthday girl Patti Kenner also cheers the movie's celebration of female camaraderie--and charity. In lieu of accepting birthday gifts, she asked friends to contribute to a women's organization. Peg Yorkin, who used some of her more than $50 million divorce settlement from producer Bud Yorkin to found the Feminist Majority Foundation in 1987, says, "Feminism gives women options they probably didn't have 50 years ago. Women who might not be as fortunate as I am at least can usually do something." Marilyn Kane, for instance, has become a counselor for the Coalition for Family Justice, a New York group that assists women going through difficult divorces.
The history of feminism goes a long way toward answering the questions, Why this movie? At this time? Quite simply, the women who marched in the '70s are now, like Keaton, Hawn and Midler, facing 50--and the specter of being traded in for a new model, at work or at home. "Everyone I know who is hitting this age feels stimulated that they have another 30 years to live, but they have no blueprint on how to proceed," says Colette Dowling, author of Red Hot Mamas, Coming Into Our Own at 50. "This movie captures their new protest. This group of women has been very vocal about everything in their life since they turned 20, and they're not stopping now." For while divorce is not something to celebrate, it does not have to be a defeat.
--Reported by Ann Blackman/Washington, Adam Cohen, William Dowell, Marguerite Michaels and Andrea Sachs/New York, Wendy Cole and Julie Grace/Chicago and Jacqueline Savaiano and James Willwerth/Los Angeles