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Yet gays have compelling reasons to come out. Banding together -- in public -- is the path toward political power and, consequently, protection. In the longer run, many gays believe, one-to-one relationships with straights are the best means of reducing tensions and prejudice. Gregory Herek, a psychologist at the University of California at Davis, has found that antigay feeling is much lower among people who know gays personally. Above all, gays come out because they feel that to keep silent is to imply they should be ashamed.
That is what motivated Mary White, the postmaster of West Southport, Maine. She wasn't sure how people would react on the island of 500 where she lived and worked. "Everyone gay I know anywhere in the Postal Service is in the closet. But I'm tired of worrying about what other people think about my life. The choice to be open is the choice to be free. The more of us who throw our stones into the pond of freedom, the more ripples there will be." She spoke those words months ago. But she didn't come out to anybody. "I didn't feel safe. One or two people seemed to be letting me know, in code, that they suspected and it was O.K. I don't have much tolerance left for that kind of tolerance."
White went on the record now because last week she left her job, taking a pay cut and demotion to move to Cambridge, Massachusetts, where she can join a thriving gay subculture. She wasn't assaulted or threatened. She was simply tired of having to hide. "I can't be myself here," she said, surrounded by packing cartons. She is not sure where the gay movement is going. She feels it is leaderless and fractured. She has seen firsthand the collision with the limits of tolerance. But for the hundreds of thousands of gays who are coming to New York City for a week of sports and celebrations, and for the majority who, like her, are not, one thing is certain. They believe their civil rights are just as inherent in the Constitution as those of blacks or women or anyone else -- and they believe that a quarter-century of phenomenal change since Stonewall is not enough.
CHART: NOT AVAILABLE
CREDIT: From a telephone poll of 800 adult Americans taken for TIME/CNN on June 15-16 by Yankelovich Partners Inc. Sampling error is plus or minus 3.5% Not Sures omitted
CAPTION: Should marriages between homosexuals be recognized as legal by law?
Do you favor the passage of equal-rights laws to protect homosexuals against job discrimination?
How much attention is being paid to homosexual rights?
Would you...
Shop at a store owned by a homosexual?
Vote for a homosexual political candidate?
Allow your child to watch a TV program with a homosexual character in it?
Attend a church or synagogue with a homosexual minister or rabbi?
Allow your child to attend a preschool that had homosexual staff members?
See a homosexual doctor?