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It might not be controversial for high school seniors to consider whether Tennessee Williams' sexuality fueled the outsider lyricism of A Streetcar Named Desire. But telling six-year-olds, however gently, that some other six- year-olds have two mommies is still a red flag in many households with just one. Some parents involved in the New York City controversy fear that exposure to the subject might predispose young children toward homosexuality. Others simply don't want to teach their kids that gay couples are acceptable. "We're asked to park our values about life-style at the door," complains Joanne Gough, a nurse and mother of three children. And a lot of parents are wary of raising premature questions about sexuality in any form. "A six-year-old child cannot understand homosexuality," says Louise Phillips, a New York City attorney who is the mother of two school-age youngsters. "Every parent I spoke with said their six-year-old cannot understand the nature of adult heterosexuality."
When is it too soon to open discussion about differences in sexual orientation? "As early as kindergarten, such things as appreciating differences and respecting all people can be taught," insists Dr. Virginia Uribe, founder of the Los Angeles school district's Project 10, which uses counseling and support to discourage lesbian and gay teens from dropping out. "And as kids get older, teachers should be prepared to respond to the questions they have. Kids don't have any big prejudices to start out with. They learn those things."
That kind of controversy is one reason that most schools are still wary about dealing with the issue at any grade level. Project 21, a San Francisco- based organization that favors teaching about gay and lesbian issues, mailed out questionnaires asking 35 Midwestern school districts what assistance they provide for gay students. Only 10 responded. "Most districts want to avoid the whole topic," says Robert Birle, the organization's Midwestern-states coordinator. "But if schools get beyond looking at gay youth as the problem and look at the homophobic atmosphere instead, we'll get some positive results."
In New York some gay students have been so badly harassed that the city supports a separate minischool for gay teens who might otherwise drop out. "Gay and lesbian issues need to be raised in the schools because of what we see in our work," says Frances Kunreuther, executive director of the Hetrick-Martin Institute, a nonprofit organization that operates the 35- student school under city auspices. "The amount of violence gay kids face, the harassment, the rejection by their families." The angry and sometimes distorted debate over the Children of the Rainbow curriculum in New York, she says, "is really a great example of why we need the curriculum." And a fair example too of why it won't be easy to get one.