Daddy's roommate is a congenial children's book about a boy in a not-so- unusual position: his parents have divorced. The rest of his story is a bit more unconventional. His father is living with a new companion named Frank. Kids who turn the pages will learn that the two men live together. They "work together," the text explains. They "eat together." And one other thing. They "sleep together."
The text and pictures in Daddy's Roommate may give off a warm glow, but glowing books can light fuses. The book is on the recommended reading list of a new first-grade curriculum in New York City -- sort of a gay companion to Jack and Jill. And that has led to a bitter fight about when and how to teach children about homosexuality, a question that schools all around the country have begun -- very cautiously -- to confront.
Developed to foster respect for all races, ethnic groups and religions, the New York City teachers' guide called "Children of the Rainbow" is mostly unexceptional. It suggests presenting folklore through Chinese tales; or, for music class, the Mexican hat dance. But in a segment on the importance of families, it reminds teachers that some of their pupils may come from households in which one or both adults are gay. And its original wording urged teachers to encourage first-graders "to view lesbians/gays as real people to be respected and appreciated." Among proposed -- but not required -- readings, the guide suggests Daddy's Roommate, along with Heather Has Two Mommies and Gloria Goes to Gay Pride.
When more than half the city's 32 local boards balked at introducing first- graders to the notion of same-sex couples, chancellor Joseph Fernandez agreed that they could hold off until the fifth or sixth grade. But the board of District 24, in the largely blue-collar borough of Queens, refused that offer. Board president Mary Cummins labeled portions of the guide "dangerously misleading homosexual/lesbian propaganda." Even after Fernandez softened the guidelines concerning homosexuality, District 24 board members refused to meet with him. Last week the exasperated chancellor suspended them. In their place he appointed trustees who will now meet with parent groups to try to adopt a compromise curriculum. "It is very important," he insists, "that children learn early on that there are different family structures out there than the traditional one."
While New York appears to be unique so far in attempting to raise the subject with first-graders, schools all over the country are discovering reasons to consider teaching about homosexuality at some grade level. In AIDS- awareness programs, pupils have been putting teachers on the spot with questions about gay life generally. Some teenagers are coming to the realization, usually an uncomfortable one, that they are gay themselves. And with gay-bashing assaults on the rise among adolescents, school administrators interested in curbing bigotry are trying to teach kids the meaning of the word homophobia.