Everything changes except that which ought to. The examples of the day are terms of endearment. They never change. What your grandfather called your grandmother, your mother called your dad; and there you are, cooing on the couch, saying the same moronic words to Him or Her: Darling, Honey, Cupcake, Sweets. How easily they spill, the junk food of language--chocolate cremes, mocha centers--not a sensible idea in the box. When Michelle Triola sued Lee Marvin for palimony several years ago, her lawyer had to prove to the court that Marvin did indeed love Michelle. The lawyer produced a letter from Marvin that closed: "Hey baby, hey baby, hey baby, hey baby, hey baby, hey baby."
"What did you mean by that?" demanded the lawyer.
"I can't explain," answered Lee.
Not that this nonsense is without pattern or order. Of terms of endearment there seem to be five main types: animal, edible, ethereal, infantile and strange. Animal terms include Lamb or Lambkins, Ducks, Mouse, Bear and the popular Pussycat. Among the edibles are Pumpkin, Apple Dumpling and an unhealthy variety of baked goods. Ethereal: Angel. Infantile: Babe, Baby, Baby Doll. Among the strange are combinations of the above, such as Lambie Pie, Honey Bear and Poopsie, a possible reference to fatigue. There are also physically or emotionally descriptive terms such as Hot Lips, Heartthrob, Hunk and Cuddles. All of which have taken up residence in the language in both conversation and song, as in the distinguished lyric: "When my Sugar walks down the street/ All the little birdies go tweet, tweet, tweet."
These categories appear to crop up in different languages as well. The French call their dear ones cabbages, rabbits and casseroles. The Italians, little eggs. Nigerians refer to lovers as tigers, which is understandable, and as bedbugs, which are evidently cuter in Nigeria than they are elsewhere. The Chinese use the term little dog, and the Germans, little treasure. Littleness is the key to many of these expressions. For some reason the tendency in the language of love is to make less of the object of one's affections; it is quite common in most languages to add a diminutive suffix to a name (in Russian, ya, in Greek, oula, in Irish, een) so as to express fond feelings. Psychologists might suggest that the purpose of these diminutions is to assert the superiority of lover to loved one ("my pet"), but the effect diminishes all parties. We have created these words as verbal comforters, warm safety zones, wherein anyone, no matter how high and mighty, is free to sound like a nitwit.