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> The Sport on trumpet: Aggressive, outgoing, he is the orchestra's resident swinger, a locker-room pundit, a connoisseur of poker, baseball and off-color jokes. To meet the physical demands of his instrument, he lifts weights. > The Tout on trombone: He lifts martinis. A wheeler-dealer, he is forever organizing parties and picnics, likes to sit in on jam sessions at the local jazz club.
>The Braumeister on tuba: He is young, puffy, crewcut, a graduate of the college marching band. In keeping with the Germanic tradition of his horn, he is a dedicated beer drinker.
> The Extravert on percussion instruments: Often required to wait an entire concert just to ping the triangle or thump the bass drum, he develops anxieties. When his moment comes, he flails away with gusto, confident that every eye is upon him. As proprietor of the orchestra's "kitchen," he is belittled because of the limited range of his instruments, envied because he can bang all his frustrations away.
How can so many divergent types work—most of the time—in such close harmony? As one violinist explains: "There is one glorious counter-stress that makes everything worthwhile—the joy of making music." And, it might also be added, with the smug certainty that the fellow up there waving a stick at them is a musical ignoramus as well as an exhibitionist.