There is almost nothing good to say about this critter, spotted in French Guiana a decade ago but announced formally only this year. It's from 1 to 3 in. long — which is too much spider for most people — and is covered in characteristic tarantula hair. It also has a taste for birds, which unsettlingly reverses the natural birds-eat-bugs order of things. The new tarantula does, however, come in bluetooth — which is to say is has cobalt blue teeth, and they're true beauties. O.K., so that's one nice thing you can say about it — but really, that's all.