Doritos makes women take their clothes off, makes you rich and leaves you invulnerable to police? Um, I'm pretty sure you're thinking of beer. Bonus points for having an obnoxious protagonist hit by a bus, points deducted for him surviving.
Grade: C
The Best and Worst Super Bowl Commercials 2009
Which commercials scored touchdowns and which fumbled? TIME TV critic James Poniewozik grades the players