Quotes of the Day
Five minutes after Kiirsi Hellewell returned from the Latter-day Saints ward near her home in West Valley, Utah, last Sunday, Feb. 5, a reporter called with devastating news. Her former neighbor Josh Powell had locked his two young sons inside his house in Washington State and then started a fire with 10 gal. of gasoline that engulfed the home in moments, killing himself and the children. An autopsy would later reveal that before the conflagration, Powell had taken a hatchet to the necks and heads of Charles, 7, and Braden, 5. "I didn't believe it. I was hoping it was just a rumor, that it wasn't true. I screamed no, and then I hung up and called [Chuck Cox] right away," Hellewell says.
Chuck Cox is the father of Powell's wife Susan, a missing person since December 2009 — and Hellewell's best friend. Shortly after Susan vanished, Hellewell launched a blog called Hearts Knit for Susan as well as a Facebook group and a Twitter account to aid in the search for her. She also maintains a findsusan Gmail account. Hellewell says she hoped she could increase awareness about her missing friend through the use of the social-networking sites. But she admits she was always suspicious of Josh Powell.
The last time Hellewell ever saw Susan was while walking away from church on Dec. 6, 2009. The next day, her friend did not show up for work, having vanished without a trace. Hellewell says she immediately was apprehensive about Josh's tale — that Susan had vanished while he and the boys were on a camping trip. "He came back without Susan and claimed to not know where she was. When I heard his ridiculous stories that he supposedly woke his children up at midnight Sunday night, took them out of their warm beds and went camping in the desert in a snowstorm, I just knew that was a total lie," Hellewell says. "Susan would have never allowed that to happen. She put her boys' safety above everything, and she would never let [Josh] do that. I knew that if he was claiming to have done that, he was either telling a complete lie or she was dead or incapacitated."
Late last year, after the boys were placed in the care of Susan's parents, the children reportedly indicated that they were indeed taken on a car trip into the countryside — but that their mother was in the trunk of the car.
Hellewell first met the Powells when they moved to West Valley from Washington in 2004. Hellewell describes the families as being pals. She spent a lot of time with Susan and her husband a lot of time with Josh, playing board games together, watching movies and going on picnics and bike rides. Both families, like many in Utah, were active in the LDS church. In fact, Josh Powell had met Susan Cox at an LDS singles' ward before marrying in 2001 in Oregon. However, Hellewell says, by 2006 Josh had stopped attending church.
Susan told Hellewell the reason Josh stopped attending church was his father Steven Powell, a former LDS member whom Hellewell described as being "anti-Mormon" and as "infecting Josh with his poison." (In September 2011, Steven was arrested and charged with voyeurism and child pornography; he denies any wrongdoing and is likely to go on trial in March.) Although Josh stopped going to church, Hellewell says Susan remained strong in her faith despite constant harassment from her husband. Hellewell remembers that Susan told her how Josh would belittle her and tell her she shouldn't pay her tithes or go to church. "[He would] fight over everything she did as far as her faith," says Hellewell.
"When she was trying to get the kids up and get them ready for church by herself, [Josh] would say things like, 'You want to go to boring, boring church with Mommy, or do you want to stay home and have cake with Daddy?' " Hellewell recalls. "He was constantly trying to undermine her when she tried to do what was right."
By 2008, the fighting had gotten unbearable, and Hellewell says Susan began considering a divorce — something that is rare in LDS culture because, as Hellewell explains, the church believes families are forever. However, Hellewell remembers the LDS community as being supportive of Susan's plans to divorce Josh. "We saw how controlling Josh was and the horrible way he was treating her. She just kept saying, 'I don't want to live my life being miserable, but I want to make sure I have done everything I absolutely can to save my marriage before I walk away. But if it comes to that point and I know that I do have to leave, that I have a clean conscience and I did everything I could to try and make it work,' " Hellewell recalls her friend saying.
According to Hellewell, Susan never went through with the divorce because she was worried about the safety of her children. "She was afraid that he would kidnap the kids if she said that she was divorcing him and they gave her custody. She was afraid she would never see them again," says Hellewell.
Although Hellewell and her family were suspicious, they attempted to maintain their friendship with Josh. "We were trying to be friends with him because we thought that if he had someone he could trust and talk to, that maybe he'd tell us something else [about her] disappearance," says Hellewell.
Starting in January 2010, Hellewell posted regularly on her blog about progress made in the search for Susan, linked to news articles that had been written about the case and sometimes shared information about the missing woman, such as her hobbies and favorite foods. "I've probably spent thousands of hours [searching for Susan]. There is no way to estimate it. It has taken up 80% to 90% of the majority of time since she disappeared," says Hellewell. "The Facebook page takes up a lot of time monitoring the comments. Susan's father continually asked us over the last two years to please not let anyone post anything that was accusatory towards Josh because it's about positivity. We have spent a lot of time taking comments off that were accusatory."
Hellewell also organized service weeks, ribbon-making events and honk-and-wave campaigns for her missing friend. "[I've tried] to do anything I could to keep media interest in the story, which is not easy to do when months go by and the police say nothing publicly and there is no news happening. [I did] anything I could think of to try and keep the media interest [so] people would remember what [Susan] looked like and be able to keep looking for her."
Although Hellewell says she still doesn't know if Josh Powell was responsible for Susan's disappearance, the murder-suicide on Sunday, Feb. 5, diminishes hope that she is alive. "It makes it completely clear that if he was capable of doing such a horrifying thing to the boys that he claimed to love and want to protect from harm, then he is certainly capable of killing his wife," she says.
Hellewell notes that the two-year ordeal has tested her faith but that when she and others in the LDS look back, it's difficult to even consider Josh a member of their community. "Josh had not been going to church for so long [and] he has spent the last few years putting websites out and criticizing the church. I think most people don't think of him as a church member anymore," says Hellewell. "I think that the members of the LDS community are mourning just like everyone else, no matter what faith we are, about what a horrible thing has happened."
In the years after Susan's disappearance, Josh and his father publicly questioned Susan's LDS faith on the site www.susanpowell.org, stating that Susan had proclaimed in front of her ward that she could no longer bring herself "to believe in Mormonism, but I can lean on other people's testimonies." Hellewell believes that Josh and Steven Powell were attempting to tarnish her reputation with the comments. "The [lie] about her faith made me angrier than anything since she disappeared," Hellewell says. "Susan had such a deep faith. She believed so strongly, and she struggled going to church by herself, having prayers with [her sons] without Josh. He watched her struggle through that." It's difficult to ponder whether the tragedy could have been avoided if Susan had in fact divorced Josh. Asked if Susan's life could have been saved by a divorce, Hellewell says, "Yes. I think it could have, unless he had come after her because he was so angry. She was worried about that."
On Sunday evening in Utah, Cheyenne Miller, a woman who had never met the Powells, organized a vigil for the two boys. "We were amazed that these total strangers that didn't know Susan, didn't know anybody in the family or anybody connected with it, were so kind," says Hellewell. Miller told Hellewell she had a friend whose children were killed by an ex-husband. "She just ached for Charlie and Braden and wanted to do something to remember and honor them," Hellewell says. More than 50 people, many who didn't personally know the Powells, attended the vigil. West Valley mayor Mike Winder was among them. "It seems like every once in a while, there are big stories in the news ... that we cling to. Elizabeth Smart's case was one of those. That one had a happy ending — this one had a horrific ending. I think as a community we share those experiences together," said Winder.
- Jeanette Moses / Salt Lake City