Diaries of Hope and Hate

(2 of 6)

As we headed toward evening, after dinner, the impression that started to prevail was that it would end negatively. But I must say that I felt intuitively all the time that the summit would end positively. It became clear though that we'd not get something actually signed. We spoke at the end of Monday about a presidential statement. The Americans said it would have the same effect as a signed document, because the sides would have to fulfill their commitments.

MORIA SHLOMOT, 31, IS DIRECTOR OF PEACE NOW, THE BIGGEST ISRAELI PEACE GROUP. SHE LIVES IN TEL AVIV WITH HER DAUGHTER TAMAR, 2 1/2, AND HER PARTNER, ACTOR CHEN ALON.

6:01 a.m. I am alone in the car. I am driving. There is a masked man in front of me, and he shoots in my direction. The windshield shatters. The bullet will soon reach me. How is it that this man did not see the PEACE stickers on my car? I wake up. I am alive. I am in bed. I don't usually dream such realistic dreams.

8:01. I haven't gone out yet. I haven't tidied the house yet. I haven't chosen what to wear. It looks warm to me.

9:01. At the traffic light, I am honking at the person in front of me, who is honking at the person in front of him. A friend calls from Gaza. For a moment we are pleasant and polite. Then begins the argument. We are friends more than we are enemies. Friendship in siege.

1:01 p.m. I go out to load the truck with signs to be sent to Jerusalem. On the signs it says in Arabic and in Hebrew YES TO COEXISTENCE, NO TO VIOLENCE. Because of the hurried printing, the black bleeds onto the red. I still have to bring Tamar's chair to her class. I haven't eaten yet.

2:01. Near the airport the setting changes. Clouds. Lightning. Thunder. I am wearing a short pink tank top. The editor of the local newspaper of Kibbutz Bar Am, where I was born, calls up and asks to interview me about the situation. Oh, boy, the situation. How I like to talk about the situation. There is a terrible hailstorm, and I am screaming on the telephone. I can't hear myself. I can't see anything. About three months ago, when Barak was at Camp David, we thought we were winning. That our struggle for peace was on the verge of success. That there is a chance, a future, that all this would happen during our lifetime.

8:01. I arrived home after Tamar had already gone to bed. There is no peace, and on top of that, I am a lousy mother.

Tuesday
SHEIK JAMAL TAWIL, 40, IS THE IMAM OF THE GRAND MOSQUE IN BEITUNIYA, A DISTRICT OF RAMALLAH IN THE WEST BANK.

In the name of God the merciful, the compassionate. I woke up at dawn. I did my ablutions before the prayer. I was about to leave for the mosque to lead the prayer. My wife tried to persuade me not to go. The Moustaribine [Israeli undercover forces disguised as Arabs] had sneaked into our neighborhood. We prayed at home. I switched on the TV. There were clashes near the settlement at Tawil Mountain, called by the occupiers Psagot [a Jewish settlement]. The children woke up. I wanted to take them to school. I gave my son Abdullah his pocket money. We left. My other son came to tell me that the city of Ramallah was under closure. Teachers and most students were not able to arrive home. We went back.

At noon I prayed at the mosque. After the prayer a march started and went through the city of Ramallah and al-Bireh. The protesters condemned the Sharm el-Sheikh accord. The protesters arrived at the confrontation line. The occupation soldiers attacked them. We heard youths asking for help. We did not hear the sounds of gunfire. The Israeli soldiers used guns with silencers. We were unable to do the late-afternoon prayer in a mosque, so we prayed in the open. We tried to avoid being shot by snipers at the City Inn Hotel and the building next to it. After sunset, quiet prevailed. We went to the mosque and performed the evening prayer. After that we went to visit the wounded.

The government hospital was crowded with people. The administration of the hospital announced the death of Ismail Shamlakh. He was from the Gaza Strip. He came with his brother to work in the West Bank a few months ago. He was unable to see his pregnant wife, whom he left in Gaza. His son will be born as an orphan. Mourners came to pay their respects to his brother. "You should come to congratulate me," he said. "My brother wanted to be a martyr."

Danny Yatom
During the night i slept 15 minutes on the couch in the Prime Minister's suite. The Prime Minister went into the bedroom. I and his personal assistant, Eldad Yaniv, took a couch each. Then we were called again to meet President Clinton at 4 a.m. Tuesday. For the first time, we learned that there was going to be a deal.