(8 of 9)
Many mornings, Annan wakes early. The light is just beginning to creep into the bedroom of his town house overlooking the East River. And as he lies in bed, he begins to pray. "Sometimes," he says, "I ask questions in my prayers. The world is so cruel. How can people be so cruel? What can one do?" Annan pauses for a moment and closes his eyes. "I'm still struggling with evil. I still don't understand how there can be so much evil, and I'm not sure that I will ever understand. Perhaps we all tend to project, and if we are not made that way, we cannot understand. But the degradation of the soul that we see with the evil in the world...You look at the impacts, you see young people who have no hope. They are destroyed.
"I think I have always been quite strong and determined," he continues. "People miss that because I am quite soft spoken. But this job placed me on another level. But it is interesting, if someone knew me when I was young, they say, 'We should have known that you were a leader.' But perhaps once you are really challenged, you find something in yourself. Man doesn't know what he is capable of until he is asked.
"But you see Karadzic and Mladic and Milosevic," he says, rattling off the names of three indicted Balkan war criminals. Then an aside: "Once when I went to see Milosevic, I was stuck in the elevator for 15 minutes! After that I would always take the stairs." He laughs and continues, "But when you see these guys, it is hard to understand. Milosevic will talk about his days when he was a banker here in New York City. He speaks English, sounds like a rational, reasonable person, and yet he is capable of all sorts of acts. How do they do it? How does someone behave like such a normal human being and suddenly turn so evil?
"So I ask questions when I pray. What can one do? Recently I saw Paul Kagame, the President of Rwanda. The Organization of African Unity had just brought out a report on [the genocide in] Rwanda that went after Albright, that demanded compensation from the Americans. And I said to Kagame, 'Don't let them tie you up on this. It's nice to hear that you think people should pay compensation, but you need to move beyond it. You have other problems.' The Rwandans said to me before, 'But without compensation, what will happen next time?' And I was just stunned. What do you mean, 'next time'?" Annan raises his voice slightly, the first time I have ever heard him do this. "How can you even think of a next time? You have to ask, What is it in our society that makes it possible? It's absolutely frightening." He pauses. "And it may happen again. And if it does, I cannot ensure that the world will stop it."