(2 of 3)
Though his character acting is solid, Cullen's greatest skill is spewing inanities. "I just say whatever will come out and justify it later," he says. A slow-talking, lovable, heavyset Canadian, he gets away with continually threatening his audience with physical harm. In a song called With the Food of Your Choice, I Will End Your Life Tonight, he gets the audience to suggest foods to be used in disturbingly intricate murder scenarios. As a member of Corky and the Juice Pigs, he performs rock parodies on Fox's Mad TV. His mumbling Michael Stipe is perfect, and his one-man duet between Neil Diamond and Stephen Hawking of You Don't Bring Me Flowers may be his best bit. Or at least his most offensive.
MITCH HEDBERG, 30 Circle of Hell: I Seems like: A surfer Steven Wright Next Seinfeld? Yes
While everyone else forced an angle into their act, Hedberg stole the Montreal Festival by standing still and telling jokes. He drawls in a bizarre slacker cadence, delivering lines like "This shirt is dry-clean only. Which means it's still dirty" and "I think Bigfoot is blurry." He keeps his eyes closed and his long bangs flopped over his face. "I don't like to connect with the crowd," he says. "I find if you look at people's faces, you see a disappointed face." In fact, if he goes three or four jokes without a laugh, he starts to shake and falter. "Laughs are like the energy I feed off. I gotta leave on a laugh." Unlike most comics, the St. Paul, Minn., native likes the road. "I just love hotel rooms. I love not having to get mail because mail is usually depressing."
UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE, 26-33 Circle of Hell: I Seems like: A Beastie Boys video Next Seinfeld? They're looking to kill the next Seinfeld, not be him
This quartet gained exposure in New York City less for its club shows than for its stunts: creating a supremely dumb sport, printing up sports cards and playing it outside the Today show set; and going to the post office dressed as the sketch of the Unabomber. The four (unlike most troupes, theirs includes a woman) met in Chicago, where they did time at Second City, developing their punk paranoia. "We all had fun doing the theater thing," says UCBer Matt Besser, "but throughout the seven years, the overriding goal was to get this thing on TV." Starting Aug. 19, their TV show will follow South Park on Comedy Central.
LEE EVANS, 34 Circle of Hell: I Seems like: Jerry Lewis on speed Next Seinfeld? Better yet, the next Jim Carrey
Lee Evans works harder than anyone who isn't employed by UPS. He sweats so much during his spastic show of pause-free buffoonery that he has to throw his suits away after five performances. Though his bigger-than-Jim-Carrey muggings are funny and his scatological jokes are fine, the audience appreciates the ex-boxer's earnest, humble hard work as much as the laughs. "I used to come off really cool, and people would yell, 'Get off!' And I thought it would be better to move around a lot," he explains. "The philosophy is, a moving target is hard to hit." Evans has had hit TV specials in England where he sells out arenas of 5,000 people. He has yet to hit it big here, but his parts in Mouse Hunt and There's Something About Mary prove that his simple comedy can translate to the U.S. As if that were a question.
MO'NIQUE, 30 Circle of Hell: II Seems like: A heavy Joan Rivers Next Seinfeld? If Seinfeld can exist on the WB