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Yes, I was trying to hold on to every element of my youth--by the way, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It should not connote disrespect for aging. I think if we can retard the process of aging, the quality of life is improved, because age does bring with it certain changes. I did not have any cataclysmic experiences when I turned 50. However, I had not expected to be as settled down and as peaceful about myself as I believe I am now. Things sort of fall into place. Those qualities and strengths that carried us through our 20s, 30s and 40s are even better, they're even stronger.
GLADYS KNIGHT, 53
The singer (Midnight Train to Georgia) had three marriages, the last ending suddenly this summer. She recently published a memoir, Between Each Line of Pain and Glory: My Life Story.
I'm somewhere now where I know that my life is going to be generating the happiness I so desire. It's about me; it's not about Les, not about Jimmy, not about Barry [her three husbands]. It's about Gladys' having her spirit right and walking in the light she's supposed to walk in. And our Heavenly Father has given us a promise that if we all do that, he will pour us out a blessing. That's already started to happen in my life. I was rebaptized in the Mormon faith Aug. 11. It's a wonderful revelation. I can't say there won't be a partner in my life. I want one. That right person will come into my life.
ELIZABETH MURRAY, 57
The contemporary painter is the mother of three and lives in New York City.
As you turn 50, you realize that your future is shrinking, that there's more past than there is future. Before, it was almost as if you were a perpetual adolescent in a way. Adolescence is a tough period of time--you feel that you're going to be in this horrible state forever; you have no prospects, no hope. I find being in my 50s a lot easier. You have experience; you know that things are always changing. I'm not disappointed in myself--I wanted to be an artist, and I am an artist. I don't feel I've got to where I want to get. Some people do get it in their 50s, but it hasn't happened for me. I feel like I've got a lot to look forward to. I still have hope.
DORIS KEARNS GOODWIN, 54
The historian just published Wait till Next Year, about growing up in New York in the 1950s.
It wasn't so much turning 50 that had an impact as much as my youngest child's going off to college. I can understand exactly what Hillary is going through. The structure of your day, if you have that relationship, is rounded by the kids. You are so accustomed to the morning when they go off, you're constantly aware of when they come home from school, you're connected to their friends. Especially if other parts of your life are complicated, as I'm sure they were for Hillary, this must have been the one thing she could always hold on to. I remember when other things troubled me, I felt as long as I can think about the kids, I'll be able to sleep tonight.
PATTI SMITH, 50
The "godmother of punk" lost her husband to heart failure in November 1994, and her brother died of a stroke a month later.