THE WORST PUBLIC PERFORMANCES OF 1996

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6 Roberto Alomar He didn't say it, he sprayed it. The Baltimore Oriole second baseman spit on umpire John Hirschbeck after an argument in Toronto toward the end of the regular season, then compounded his sin by saying Hirschbeck hasn't been the same since his son died of a neurological disease. After Alomar was given an absurdly lenient suspension (five games next season rather than in the postseason), he became the chew toy in a dogfight among the players, umpires and baseball executives. The real damage, though, was done to Alomar's name. He may never shake his spitting image.

7 Robert Dornan "B-1 Bob" went ballistic after narrowly losing his House seat in Orange County, California, to Hispanic financial analyst Loretta Sanchez. Threatening to sue her for election fraud, Dornan called Sanchez a "liar" and said "the whole thing stinks to high heaven." Of course, sour grapes were to be expected from the former fighter pilot who once grabbed a fellow Congressman by the collar and called him a "draft-dodging wimp." Sanchez's campaign manager, John Shallman, spoke for many when he said of Dornan, "He's been, and continues to be, a national disgrace. All we can say is: Adios." The bad news is that Dornan will now have more time for his second job as Rush Limbaugh's substitute host.

8 Linford Christie Has anybody checked to see if Christie has actually left Olympic Stadium yet? The British sprinter refused to leave the track after being disqualified for two false starts in the 100-m finals in Atlanta. Christie had to be physically removed from the premises before the runners could line up for another start. After Donovan Bailey of Canada won in the world-record time of 9.84 sec., Christie was back on the track, taking his own, delusional victory lap. Then he went after fellow sprinter Ato Boldon, who had called Christie's act "unprofessional." Two false starts revealed him as a true jerk.

9 Julie Andrews Not saying thank you is one of our least favorite things. Bothered that her Tony nomination for Best Actress in a Musical was the only one received by Victor/Victoria, Andrews, then 60, announced at a Wednesday matinee that she would decline the nomination. "I have searched my conscience and my heart," said the actress, "and find that sadly I cannot accept this nomination and prefer to stand instead with the egregiously overlooked." Her sincerity would have played out a little better if somebody hadn't tipped off the TV news crews, who came rushing into the theater 30 minutes before the curtain.

10 Dennis Rodman and Richard Branson A pair of unblushing brides. The Chicago Bulls star decided to marry himself in a wedding gown at a Manhattan bookstore as a publicity stunt for his confessional, Bad As I Wanna Be, while the British bull artist shaved his beard of 30 years and donned a wedding dress, veil and fishnet stockings to celebrate the launching of his latest venture, the Virgin Bride boutique in London. "I've always had good legs," said Branson. Good taste is another matter entirely. The nerve of either of them to wear white.

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