WINNERS & LOSERS
IT'S OVER
[WINNERS]
TIM WATTERS Four more years of steady work for the $10,000-a-pop Bill Clinton impersonator
LIDDY DOLE Will now have no incumbent to oppose in race for the Republican nomination in 2000
HARRY THOMASON Clintons' Arkansas/Hollywood pal gets second shot at White House travel office
[LOSERS]
NORM MACDONALD Without Dole impression, left with only Weekend Update to do on Saturday Night Live
KENNEDY Oddball, retro MTV veejay made appearances with Dole; won't get to emcee Inaugural show
CHELSEA CLINTON Off to college next year--accompanied by Secret Service. Will they let her inhale?
MORRY AGONISTES
Forbes. Gramm. Buchanan. It seems like a lifetime ago, but it was only last winter that we were avidly following the fortunes of Bob Dole's primary opponents. Perhaps the most quixotic was Morry Taylor, the 52-year-old president and CEO of Titan Wheel International Inc. Taylor spent more than $7 million but won only 25,000 primary and caucus votes.
His latest political move hasn't worked out so well either. Last month he sent a letter to his 3,200 domestic employees (see signature below) offering them an extra day of vacation if they voted on Election Day. Now Washington has told Taylor that it is illegal to give any type of monetary incentive to encourage individuals to vote. "Can you believe that? Your own government does not want the working men and women of this country to vote," he told employees. The boss himself is voting for Dole but would prefer Liddy or Hillary. "They both made all the money in the family," he says. "They have the experience to be CEO of the largest corporation in the world--the U.S. government."
THE ENVELOPE, PLEASE
TIME's Campaign '96 Awards recognize outstanding achievements by politicians, their relatives and their hecklers
MOST EMBARRASSING HISTORICAL GAFFE--CLINTON: "The last time I checked, the Constitution said, '...of the people, by the people and for the people.' That's what the Declaration of Independence says." Wrong on both counts. It's the Gettysburg Address.
MOST EMBARRASSING HISTORICAL GAFFE--DOLE: "The Brooklyn Dodgers had a no-hitter last night." The Dodgers left Brooklyn in 1957.
MOST INDISCREET CAMPAIGN AIDE (besides Dick Morris): J.E. (Billy) McKinney, father of Cynthia A. McKinney, a Georgia Democrat running for the House, resigned as her adviser after invoking the Rev. Louis Farrakhan and calling her opponent, Republican John Mitnick, "a racist Jew."
THE METAPHOR-TOO-FAR AWARD: A bridge to the past...to the 21st century...to higher taxes and more teenage drug use...Whatever.
MOST FURTIVE EXECUTIVE ACT: Clinton signed controversial anti-gay-marriage legislation at 12:50 a.m.
THE ANGRY-WHITE-MALE MEMORIAL PRIZE: To this year's overanalyzed demographic cliche--the soccer mom.
STEALTHIEST ENDORSEMENT: New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani came out for Dole-Kemp just before Game 6 of the World Series.
MOST FARSIGHTED POL-TO-BE: High school senior Brendan Cuminskey, appearing with Bill Clinton, made sure his handshake got recorded by the press. "Lightning just might strike twice," he said, recalling Clinton's 1963 photo with J.F.K.