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In recent years, in a nod to modernity and political correctness, the pageant has emphasized the contestants' dedication to social betterment. And they'd better be dedicated; each is required to speak on a do-good theme--a "platform" that will serve as her stump speech should she win the crown. This week's wannabes will plump for such causes as aging with dignity (Miss Hawaii), youth-violence intervention (Maine), alternatives to underage drinking (Nebraska), organ-tissue donation (Texas) and motivating at-risk children through music (Alabama). Miss California will speak in favor of sexual abstinence.
Perhaps one of these inspirational chats will launch the career of a budding politician (moderate to rabid Republican, we're guessing). But what usually comes across is the falseness, not of the contestants forced to reach for cheerful profundity, but of the format. Says humorist Harry Shearer, host of the syndicated weekly radio treasure Le Show and an avid trawler in the backwaters of pop culture: "I believe that if the serious guys on television had to discuss current affairs the way Miss America contestants do--gussied up in evening wear while an orchestra plays Isn't She Lovely?, and showing us their backsides after they finish--we'd have a better world."
Leonard Horn thinks the world of Miss America is fine as is. "I'm sick and tired of people not understanding the value of this program," he fumes. "In a world that has nothing but troubles, this is something pretty goddam good." Horn means pretty goddam wholesome, but he's right. Miss America is good--if you remember that it's a once-a-year TV show that allows viewers to make bar bets on the status of young womanhood. The pageant is good for drama and giggles on a Saturday night. Nestled on the September schedule amid the Jerry Lewis Telethon and Monday Night Football, the Miss America show shares with those made-for-TV spectacles the lure of unpredictable thrills and gaffes, adventure and ennui. It's gaudy, it's fake, it's real, it's live! We hate it. We love it!
--Reported by Andrea Sachs/Atlantic City