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Her put-downs were gentle. Says John Loring, design director at Tiffany and author of several books edited by Onassis: "It was always in very nice terms, but the moment she said what was wrong, there wasn't any doubt. I'd say to myself, 'Well, silly me, why did I try that one on for size. It clearly wasn't going to work.' " Loring found her an ideal sounding board: "She had an extraordinary ability to be interested in the person she was working with." He adds with a flourish, "She makes you feel you could do almost anything. Any man married to Jackie probably would have to become President of the United States."
However, says Charles Daly, director of the Kennedy Library Foundation in Boston, "she was not at all above giving very direct criticism when warranted." He recalls the day she visited the library building designed by her friend the architect I.M. Pei as it was under construction. She saw an asphalt driveway where lawn and trees should have been. "She called one of I.M. Pei's guys out and pointed to the asphalt," says Daly. "She nearly ate the guy for lunch. She could be very tough."
She was also extremely tough about keeping her private life resolutely just that. And, according to Mankiewicz, when Manchester wanted to renege on the agreement giving her final approval of the manuscript of Death of a President, Jackie fought him. "When my children grow up, I don't want them to read all the gruesome stuff about his brain and the way he looked," she said, according to Mankiewicz. "She wanted those passages out, and by God she got them out."
A few glimpses of the private Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis are available. For one, she was often seen at ballet intermissions eating ice cream, something she loved. For another, she chain-smoked -- out of the camera's range -- until 1987, when she told Kitty Dukakis, who had approached her for advice on being a political wife, that she was quitting. She remained devoted to J.F.K.'s memory. Over lunch with friends, she often began remarks with "Jack used to say" or "Jack thought."
Friends observed that she kept "an ostrich position" with regard to stories of his infidelity in the White House. Indeed, she professed to be shocked by similar allegations by Paula Jones about Bill Clinton. But she had always been prim. Says Manchester: "She was appalled by Lyndon Johnson's earthiness. At one time he was talking about Adlai Stevenson, and Johnson said, 'You know, he squats to piss.' Jackie was horrified. She didn't know what to say. She was stunned."
She exulted whenever she met a White House veteran. A few years ago, at a dinner party on Martha's Vineyard given by Katharine Graham, then publisher of the Washington Post, she chatted animatedly with Nancy Reagan. "They were riveted by each other," says one of Graham's guests. "They compared notes on being First Lady, the problems of running the White House. It was like two suburban ladies talking about a good sale on V-8 juice."