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Neither Allen nor Lanning is hinting that parents should abandon the common- sense rules of parental vigilance. For the especially worried, New York State clearinghouse on missing children manager James Stanco suggests knowing exactly, rather than approximately, what your children are wearing in the event you must describe them, and introducing a family password to prevent their walking away with a bogus relative. But, cautions James Fox, dean of Northeastern University's College of Criminal Justice, "we should not make them panicky and make them lose their childhood. You don't want them to think that everyone they meet is a potential serial killer."