Danny, the fatherless boy in Arnold Schwarzenegger's new Last Action Hero, is living the dream of any lonely young movie fan. He has been blasted magically through the screen to co-star in a new action film with Jack Slater, his favorite hero and budding father figure. But there are differences between reel life and real life. The boy writes a certain word on a piece of paper and asks the man to say it out loud. Jack declines the challenge, and Danny knows why. "You can't," the lad crows. "You can't possibly say it! Because this movie is PG-13."
Last Action Hero is indeed PG-13, the movie industry parental-guidance rating that strongly cautions parents of children under 13. Many people may be colorfully killed in a PG-13 picture, and certain expletives may be uttered -- but not the one Danny wrote. If it were, Last Action Hero might be given the restricted R rating (no unescorted person under 17 allowed), theoretically eliminating the huge sector of movie addicts like Danny. A survey by David Davis of Paul Kagan Associates showed that from 1984 to 1991, PG-rated films were twice as likely as R-rated films to earn $60 million at the box office, and three times as likely to earn $100 million. For action movies with blockbuster eyes, the R has nearly become the dread X. Cliffhanger, the R- rated Sylvester Stallone thriller, earned a cozy $50 million in its first 17 days. But, says TriStar boss Mike Medavoy, "would I have preferred a PG-13 on that movie? You bet."
Does Steven Spielberg tailor his action movies to PG-13 specifications? You bet. His Jurassic Park, with many a rampaging dinosaur and a bit of parenting on the side, skirted the R and strutted to a record B.O. pace of $81.7 million in its first week. Naturally, Universal Pictures' Tom Pollock is ecstatic. He's also pleased to display surveys indicating that only 2% of parents deemed the film too scary for their kids. "We are gearing ourselves toward younger movies," he says. "There's a demographic bulge called the baby boomlet: the baby boomers and their children, ranging from three to 12 years old. That means you'll see more movies for adults, more movies for families and fewer movies aimed solely at teenagers." Sorry, Danny.
And hooray for Hollywood, do-gooders might cheer. Whether from conviction or calculation, the town is born-again nice. Nearly extinct this summer are the killer thrillers, with their stark violence, sleazy sex, punk vocabulary -- and R ratings. Taking their place is the children's film, in which kids and grownups take reassuring life lessons. At heart these PG movies are After School Specials for the kids, and after-work seminars for dads. It's Father's Day all summer, and the Kidding of America all year long.
Listen, all, to the imaginary testimony of a few summer-movie Dads Anonymous. They sound like Hollywood moguls swearing off R-rated rotgut for the 12-step program of PG uplift.
< Michael J. Fox in Life with Mikey: "I'm a show-biz agent, down on his pluck. I hope to make my fortune, and remake my life, with the help of a brash urchin who could be someone's beautiful daughter."
Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle: "I'm a grieving widower who needs romantic rehab. Fortunately, I have a live-in therapist -- my eight-year-old son. He'll call an agony talk show, make many women sob over his concern for my depression and arrange a love with the perfect stranger."