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But, of course, the imperial household knows a thing or two about negotiating also. Somehow, mandatory security was brushed aside so the pair could meet privately, if not alone. Naruhito would propose, his quarry would demur. Volleys of phone calls from the lover followed. There were rendezvous on the imperial duck-hunting grounds. All the while, secrecy was an obsession. But one short exchange shows that the young pair were establishing intimacy and rapport. After some nervous discussion about avoiding the press, Masako- san joked to Naruhito, "Perhaps I should get dressed up in a panda suit." Some panda.
At one point the Owada family formally rejected the suit, on the grounds that their daughter could not decide. At least the reply hinted that she was thinking about the offer.
Finally, last Dec. 12, she relented: "If I can be of support to you, I would like to accept humbly. Since I am accepting, I will work hard to make your highness happy, and also be able to look back on my life and think, 'It was a good life.' "
That statement may sound modest, even servile, to Western ears, but in Japan the reaction was quite different. In the last clause, Owada had dared to say in public that she sought fulfillment in her own terms. To young women -- and many men -- that came close to calling for a new covenant. Marriage is not necessarily an attractive prospect to an educated woman, especially one of the growing number who, like Owada, have lived part of their childhood abroad and have a wider and more cosmopolitan experience than most Japanese.
From the beginning of his school days, a boy is pushed to study hard in order to gain acceptance at a top university, preferably the University of Tokyo. Then he starts toiling for a corporation or in a government bureaucracy. The hours are endless, and when they are over, he is often expected to go out and get drunk with clients. Weekends are for golf, again usually with clients. Back home, his wife takes full charge of the children and manages the money. This lockstep life is a foundation of Japan's economic supremacy, which is just beginning to show cracks.
If a Japanese family is posted abroad, the parents may leave a son home with relatives so he can pursue the rigors of his education. He may be smart, but he is often so sheltered that as an adult, he can scarcely decide what to eat or which clothes to put on in the morning. But a daughter usually travels with the family and gets a taste of other cultures. Grown up, these women do not want to settle for a corporate automaton as a husband.
A government report released in 1992 disclosed that 74.5% of single women did not care that they were unmarried. No wonder. In households where both partners work, women spend 4 hours and 17 minutes a day on housework. Men toil at home for 19 minutes. No one expects that the new imperial couple will be tidying up the palace, but Owada struck a blow for female rights when she said she had her own legitimate expectations in life.