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Abuse is a mild term for the torture that parents inflict. When he went on trial for murder last August in Olympia, Washington, Israel Marquez, 17, recited a litany of abuse that began when he was seven years old. His stepfather, a deputy sheriff and martial-arts expert, liked to punch him in the chest and slap him on the head. When he went through a bed-wetting period between the ages of seven and 12, the stepfather beat him with a 2-in.-wide belt. After hearing the boy's tale, the jury found Marquez guilty of the reduced charge of voluntary manslaughter. He is expected to be released from prison in April.
Donna Marie Wisener's suffering at her father's hand started at age two and continued into her teens. To mark his displeasure, he threw oak logs at her; for amusement, he handcuffed her to a chair. Just as bad for the Tyler, Texas, girl was the sexual abuse. Her father would send her lewd Valentines -- "I would like your heart and I assume the rest of you will follow" read one message -- and give her "rubdowns." The agony culminated one evening when her father threw her against the wall, hitting her on the head over and over. He also beat her mother until she fell unconscious to the floor, then he threw Donna Marie out of the house. In despair, she returned and took a loaded revolver from her parents' nightstand. When her father came at her again, she shot him dead. Last February she was found not guilty of first-degree murder by reason of self-defense.
Mark Martone of Haverhill, Massachusetts, who killed his father, remembers abuse back to age five, when he told his dad he was scared of the dark. "Oh, Jesus Christ," said the parent in disgust. Then he led the terrified boy down to the cellar, handcuffed his arms over a rafter, turned off the light and shut the door. Mark dangled in silence for hours. "God forbid if I cried," he recalls. "I was just like a hanging Everlast bag, you know? Punch me, punch me." When Mark was nine, his father held the boy's hand over a red-hot burner as punishment for moving a book of matches on a bureau. And when he was 15, his dad, angered by a long-distance phone bill, stuck a gun in his son's mouth and "told me he was going to blow my brains out."
Most abused children suffer quietly. The lucky ones find other supportive adults who nurture them, typically a nonabusive parent, grandparent, teacher or coach. Some manage to cope by emotionally numbing themselves or by taking out their repressed anger on someone other than the abuser. Others find the torment intolerable. They may run away or try to commit suicide. Donna Marie Wisener once had a gun in her mouth when she was discovered by her father, who told her, "Next time do it right."
Some seek outside help, but often to no avail. "I spent my whole childhood trying to get help, and none ever came," says Roy Rowe, 19, who last year was sentenced to four to 12 years for killing his stepfather. Neighbors in Vestal, New York, sometimes called the police when the screams grew too loud from the beatings -- with a paddle, a belt and a two-by-four -- that Roy's stepfather gave him, his younger sister and brother, and his mother. Teachers reported their suspicions of abuse; relatives tried to intervene. But each time, police officers and social workers left the children in the home. On his 17th birthday, Roy shot and killed his stepfather on their front porch as he came home from work.