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Rush gives great spiel. His radio persona, which is nearly identical to his genially blustering off-mike personality, mixes country lawyer with sideshow barker, tent evangelist with Spike Jones rhythm section. In the space of a single sentence, he will rattle newspapers into the microphone, impersonate Benjamin Hooks (Does the N.A.A.C.P. director really sound like Amos 'n' Andy's Kingfish?) and break into an impromptu chorus of Blue Moon. When Limbaugh gets revved up, he comes on like John Madden with a grudge.
Grudges by the vanload: Limbaugh has a hate list bigger than his capacious ego. Of course, those on the list are all liberals, some formidable, some fringe. Feminists -- in Limbaugh's terms "femi-Nazis" -- argue for equal rights on the job because "they can't get a man, and their rage is one long PMS attack." People critical of Los Angeles top cop Daryl Gates "want to abolish the police." The N.A.A.L.C.P. (National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored People) is a "Nazi-like police force" because it wanted to investigate one of its chapters' support for Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas. Indeed, most black leaders -- complacent slaves on the "liberal plantation" -- are stripping their people of pride and initiative by insisting on welfare programs and affirmative action. Environmentalists -- "extremist wacko-nut cases" -- are "a bunch of socialists who want bigger government and poorer people." Some animal-rights activists "want the extermination of the human race."
In the Rush demonology, Senator Edward Kennedy is both Satan and satyr -- a perfect target. Last year, when an opponent of Judge David Souter hypothesized that the Supreme Court nominee was "in the closet," Limbaugh said, "I think any of us would be safer in a closet with Judge Souter than we would be in an automobile with Ted Kennedy." Any member of the Kennedy family is vulnerable to Limbaugh's scorn, and in the unlikeliest contexts. Last week Rush noted that accused murderer-cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer would plead innocent by reason of insanity. "That's like finding William Kennedy Smith guilty of rape," he opined, "and then having a trial to see if he was horny."
Limbaugh picks his spots. He praises Ronald Reagan ("Ronaldus Magnus") for everything he likes about the '80s and blames the Democratic Congress for everything he hates. Snail darters get more play on his show than the recession. The chief miscreants in the B.C.C.I. scandal are not the Justice Department honchos who quashed any investigation for two years but Democrats like Jimmy Carter and Clark Clifford. Big Government is bad, except when it provides plenty of guns and bombs; big corporations are good, except when they knuckle under to liberal consumer groups. "You simply cannot have the public at large telling corporations how to run their business," he avers. He also believes in America, the family, capitalism and the inalienable right of fat guys in phosphorescent jackets to lumber through the woods with an Uzi and blast Bambi to bits. One of Limbaugh's favorite callers, "Mick from the high mountains of New Mexico," says he dines frequently at the Roadkill Cafe on "tacos made outta dead puppies."