The rustic lodge on Gull Lake in pristine northern Minnesota hums with singsong, flat-voweled excitement. The 500 sensibly dressed welfare workers in the convention crowd usually dish out encouragement for a living. But today they will be on the receiving end from a former recipient who managed to get herself off welfare and onto the best-seller list. Here she is, flashing her big white smile: Melody Beattie, queen of codependency.
The petite, elegantly dressed woman warms up with jokes about sticky food stamps and useless powdered milk and reminds her listeners of the familiar line that "a woman is one man away from welfare." As harsh stage lighting reflects in her large gold earrings and red fingernails, her soft voice intensifies with an emotional turn. Beattie urges her audience to "have clear boundaries," "let go of the victim belief" and, most of all, "take care of yourselves."
These exhortations might prompt outsiders to ask, like the Meryl Streep character in Postcards from the Edge, "Do you always talk in bumper stickers?" But expressions like "one day at a time" and "higher power" are the not-so-secret passwords of our times.
This audience recognizes them and, more, believes them, cheering, beckoning Beattie back to the stage until clapping and tears subside. Women rush to her, clutching her best-selling Codependent No More, thrusting worn copies toward the author for an inscription. "I'm codependent. Your book saved my life." "My mom gave me the book when I started treatment. It's my bible."
Melody Beattie is an American phenomenon. With her codependency concept, she connects with age-old quests for self-improvement and rebirth. These values, and the slogans that convey them, have reached the souls of millions of Americans who seem to communicate with one another through a national emotional chain letter. Off-putting or silly to the uninitiate, her messages inspire true believers. She has tapped into a preoccupation with addiction and alcohol, added a whiff of New Age mysticism and come up with a message that reaches Americans adrift in an atomistic society and often disillusioned with traditional psychotherapy.