(2 of 2)
We also represent the painter and muralist Michelangelo. As you know from Variety, he is just finishing the sketches for his big Sistine Chapel production. Mike has never before offered product placements in his works, so this is a rare opportunity for a shrewd advertiser. The ceiling will depict the moment of creation -- Adam and God with arms outstretched to each other and fingers touching. It's dynamite, I promise you. For $20,000, Adam could be wearing a Rolex watch; for $40,000, God could wear one; for $60,000, both. Although Mike is committed to the concept of Adam naked, God could be a wonderful showcase for the right designer. We're thinking of $20,000 per item of dress; $40,000 if you want to buy the full costume. For $60,000, Mike will inscribe the legend "Godwear by Oscar de la Renta."
Here, briefly, are some other items from our latest catalog:
-- We represent a group of lawyers that is adding a Bill of Rights to the U.S. Constitution. For $20,000, your product can be included as a basic human right in one of the ten currently planned amendments. For $40,000, you can have an amendment of your own. For $60,000, the Constitution will ban rival products.
-- We're pleased to announce that T.S. Eliot has joined our Poets' Corner. For $20,000, J. Alfred Prufrock will ask himself, "Do I dare to eat a Snickers bar?" For $40,000, he will answer, "Yes!"
-- ASCAP has asked us to handle product placements in popular songs. For example, a ballad called These Foolish Things is available that lists various items that ostensibly "remind me of you." For $20,000, the lyric "A tinkling piano in the next apartment" could be amended to "A tinkling Steinway . . ." and so on. (For an extra $20,000, the song's title could be changed to These Wise Investments.)
-- The prominent civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. is planning a big speech on the Washington Mall. Influenced by the success of product placements in President Kennedy's Inaugural Address ("Let the word go forth that the torch has been passed to the Pepsi generation . . ." and so forth), Marty is prepared to build a big dream sequence around a few selected products. For $20,000, he will declare, "I have a dream that some day blacks and whites will sit together at McDonald's, sharing a Big Mac and fries." For $40,000, he will display a Big Mac on the podium, and for $60,000, he will consume it during the speech.
-- Finally, several clients have asked about the availability of the Bible. At the moment, the author feels product placements would undermine his message. But we're working on him.