Most of the people who stop at Carroll Harper's place are tourists from up North or from over on the other side of the Blue Ridge, in the District of Columbia's westward-creeping suburbs. But the two men standing out front next to a pickup truck, wearing overalls and visored caps, are obviously locals. "My brother got me a statue here last week. He thought I'd like it," says one, the soft twang of his western Virginia accent confirming the visual evidence. "I don't. Can I trade it in on something else?" Harper, a stocky man of medium height, thinks a moment, then replies, "I don't see why not. What kind of statue was that, anyway?" "Some kind of mannequin" is the reply.
It turns out to be a madonna, 3 ft. high -- perfect for a porch in Hoboken, N.J., perhaps, but maybe a little out of place dressing up a Shenandoah Valley farmer's front yard. The farmer looks around for a few minutes, then asks, "How about if I take that deer over there and pay you the difference?" The animal in question is a buck, 4 ft. high, with a brown paint job and an impressive rack of gleaming metal antlers. "That'd be fine," says Harper. He calls his sons Doug and Dale and son-in-law Russell Armentrout out of the work shed to reclaim the Virgin Mary and wrestle 300 lbs. of concrete venison onto the truck bed.
The chance that the farmer would have failed to locate something he liked was approximately zero: on a mere 1 1/2 acres, Harper's Lawn Ornaments, just north of Harrisonburg, Va., has one of the largest selections anywhere of items for people who shudder at the thought of a naked lawn. The place is crowded with hundreds of objects designed to satisfy every yearning: there are pedestals holding colored glass balls that resemble huge Christmas-tree ornaments, 6-ft.-tall ranch-style windmills, plastic pink flamingos -- and some items that are downright tasteless, notably a painted wooden figure that depicts an obese woman bending over, seen from behind. "I won't go so far as to say we're the biggest in the business," says Harper. "I heard of some place in Chicago that has a pretty big stock. But we do have the biggest variety I know about."
That is especially true when it comes to concrete: while the flamingos and , their kin are concentrated up front, near the highway, the enormous side yard is filled with concrete birdbaths, statues (including Jesus, St. Francis of Assisi, gnomes, Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck), decorative paving stones, planters and fountains, all neatly stacked in piles up to 6 ft. high. Most impressive is Harper's collection of concrete animals. He has 20 types of deer alone, ranging in size from a miniature fawn up to the just departed buck, and 18 kinds of frogs. There are also lifelike rabbits, geese, chickens, lambs, foxes, crocodiles, armadillos, toy poodles and blue jays. On a larger scale, Harper features full-size pigs and half-size cows and black bears, which nevertheless weigh about a fifth of a ton.