(2 of 2)
While Chinese psychologists, sociologists and child counselors are quick to concede the shortcomings of single children, they emphatically reject the claims in the press that the little tyrants pose an alarming problem. They are certainly not cause for having more children, a development that China can do without, despite the surplus of parental love. According to Mao Yuyan, a psychology professor at the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Beijing, if parents want the atmosphere of a large family, they can organize their neighborhoods into quasi-clans. Children can also be trained in the collective spirit in nurseries and kindergartens.
In her studies, Mao found single children "faring better than those with siblings" in terms of intellectual development. She contends that some children with siblings are even worse brats. "They beat their elder brothers," Mao says. "The decisive factor is not whether one is a single child. It is a question of parental attitude and education." As an ancient Chinese saying goes, "Bad parents produce bad children." Most single-child parents are survivors of the chaotic Cultural Revolution. Many failed to finish their own schooling, and they are often ill equipped to rear children properly. Some of these parents apply immense pressure on the children to succeed where they themselves have not. Many hire experts to teach the toddlers music, calligraphy or a foreign language. A few even force their sons and daughters to parrot elegant Tang dynasty poetry. Says Fang Xiang, a retired child psychologist: "There is no need for tutoring in composition or arithmetic. What's important is moral education at home."
To help remedy the situation, crash courses for newlyweds and parents-to-be are being conducted across the country. Bookstores are stocking up on child- care books. Schools and summer camps teach children how to dress, cook and do household chores. Says Mao: "We ask mothers to offer a childhood that is more than just chocolate plus toys, to teach the child to be courteous, collective- oriented and self-reliant. That way, they will not become little emperors." What are parents to do when a child throws a tantrum? Do not give in to blackmail, says Fang. "Let the child cry all night. By the next day / everything will be forgotten." At least until Baby learns to throw things.