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Some couples solve the problem by living and working apart and seeing each other on weekends. About 700,000 couples in the U.S. have such commuter marriages, says Fairlee Winfield, a professor of business at Northern Arizona % University. Despite the separations, some of which last ten years and longer, infidelity is apparently rare. Of 297 couples she surveyed, only 8% had affairs while apart; most polls put the national norm for adultery at about 26%. "The fact that they're willing to live with the arrangement indicates a high level of commitment to the marriage in the first place," explains Winfield. Also, she adds, "they're too busy with their careers and commuting back and forth."
TV Reporter Mary Nissenson and her husband, Anchor-Reporter Mike Parker, have made good use of moving vans and frequent-flier discounts. Of their seven years together, they have lived in different cities for three years. For 2 1/2 years, Parker worked at a Chicago station while his wife toiled in Miami. Then Nissenson moved to New York City, where Parker joined her for a few months. He was rehired in Chicago, and she joined him. Both are ambitious, but they admit to making career sacrifices for their marriage. "Mike left a weekend anchor position in Chicago to be in New York with me, and I moved to Chicago with a pay cut," acknowledges Mary, who says she has no regrets. "When I'm 60, there isn't anybody in broadcasting who will love me. But Mike will."
Mary and Mike now occasionally appear together as co-anchors on weekend newscasts for WBBM-TV in the Windy City. Officials at some stations who once forbade such arrangements have concluded that employing couples is sometimes good business. Indeed, antinepotism rules are slowly being lifted at companies across the nation. O'Melveny & Myers, one of the nation's largest law firms, has engaged several married couples. Martin Marietta, the giant aerospace and defense contractor, actually has an affirmative hire-a-couple policy. The company believes it is a sound strategy to lure and retain top people. Its Denver division now adds about 100 couples a year, notes Personnel Administrator Joseph Weiner. And there is no charity involved. "Eight out of ten times the recruited person is married to someone with skills we can use," he insists. There are a few rules, however: partners, for example, cannot supervise each other.
While many men still simply accept their wives' careers, others are assuming a more active role by attending business functions and parties with them. John Shutkin, a New York attorney with the accounting firm of Peat Marwick Main, often makes social rounds at the side of his wife, Barnard College President Ellen Futter. "Sometimes I feel like Caesar's wife," % admits Shutkin. "I've got to watch my behavior." Still, he notes that men in his position are often the beneficiaries of a double standard. "I suspect that I get a lot of Brownie points that I probably don't deserve. With a female spouse, it would be a matter of expectation and obligation. Instead I get 'What a guy!' "