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A. I was another woman when I gave that interview. I'm not a stationary person, but a chameleon. My husband Bill says that I've been about 15 different women in my life. Every so often something will come along and fill me so that I change. I came away from that interview very cleansed. It was like a dam. All the water ran out and everything flows better now. I'm now seeing that that was a real positive period in my life.
Q. How so?
A. I'm not saying that some real intense things didn't happen there. They gave lobotomies. A couple of my friends hung themselves in their cells. It was like Cuckoo's Nest. I was struck by the truth of that movie. I saw it as a metaphor for society rather than a nuthouse. Still, the place was a respite from the world. They drugged me, so at least I slept. I was popular, the vice president or the secretary of the student body. And hearing the door slam internalized the idea of limits and taught me to set goals. If I hadn't learned that, I'd have rolled with the punches instead of seeing them coming and anticipating them better as a result.
Q. Were you more mainstream when you left the institution?
A. No. After I got out, I headed for Colorado and holed myself up in a trailer for seven years. It was a form of agoraphobia, but I don't recall that being a real negative time. I had three kids in three years and was into being pregnant and a mom. I had a very active inner life. Bill liked it. I'd wait for him to come home at 4:30, serve Hamburger Helper and Jell-O and a salad, and we'd sit for hours passionately discussing music, art and philosophy. I've always been either "in" or "out." Rarely in-between. When I'm in, I gain weight to protect myself, think a lot, write a lot. I get into solitude. When I'm out, I lose weight and like to be with people. Now I've managed to integrate both for the first time. I'm losing weight, being social but creative.
Q. How have you managed to sidestep the usual hang-ups that come with being heavy?
A. To me, being fat isn't a negative. Being fat is a response. If you eat, you're choosing to be fat. Fat is a great friend. It's a cushion, very comforting at times. I feel sexy when I'm fat, but then I feel sexy when I'm $ skinny too. Being fat, for a woman, also means you take up more space, so you're seen -- and probably heard -- more easily. It's real ironic. At the same time that women were encouraged to be politically active and speak out, we unconsciously started to starve ourselves skinny, which is what men want us to do. That's very much a part of this wave of feminism, an epidemic among women.
Q. How close is the character you play to your real-life persona?
A. That's me up there, but there's a deliberate choice of what to expose. I like being naked. I'm one of those weirdos who ain't never frightened when I perform. All comedians, the good ones at least, are psychic, mental, emotional exhibitionists -- though a lot of them hide it by attacking other people. I call my stuff three-day comedy. First they laugh, and three days later they go, "Oh, God, this is what she was talking about." Once the brain is stretched, though, they can't go back. It's too late.
Q. What are you trying to get across?