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Psychiatrists also have their own language. So do politicians, and it should be interesting to note the changes in neutral terms that result from their taking charge.
Neutral Political Psychological
opposing Views bull intellectualizations other candidates crooks paranoid personalities assistants jerks underachievers reporters swine voyeurs zealots nuts "Come in."
To such terms as ailurophobia (fear of cats) and erythrophobia (fear of blushing) may be added brownophobia (fear of other Governors) or worse, delanophobia (fear of fear itself). Visitors are bound to watch their language as well. Few will mention penal reform.
Yet there are still four main attributes psychiatrists possess that no other candidates can offer. The first is the ability to deal with people in pressing situations, a gift that graces the profession so naturally that one wonders why the country has had to wait so long to see it applied to a political context:
Reporter: Governor, what is your reaction to the bribery charges?
Governor: Can you help me understand why you asked that question?
Or—
Aide: Governor, how the hell are we going to lick this depression?
Governor: Depression?
Then, too, a psychiatrist is convinced that nothing is as it appears. This puts reality up for grabs, and the grabs are his, since he is an interpreter. If he is the only one who knows what reality is, then he must also be the only one who knows what it ought to be. In short, he has the world on a string—every politician's dream.
Which brings us to a lovely advantage: psychiatrists believe in dreams. Consider all the romantic petitioners who heretofore were told that their fantasies were bushwa now being smiled at and implored to spell out in exquisite detail what it is they have been dreaming of. Who knows but that among them one truly remarkable, earth-rescuing dream may arise that is worth dissecting? Who but a psychiatrist Governor (at least a Freudian Governor) is authorized to say that dreams count for something in the world, that truth may reside in improbables?
But the greatest gift psychiatrists could bring to government is the capacity to forgive. Until recently, only Barbara Walters had that power, but now with psychiatrists at the helm, all sins become venial. One would expect a psychiatrist Governor to exercise his right of pardoning condemned prisoners, of course, and that would be most pleasing to opponents of capital punishment. Only one area of danger exists, and that is in the traditional circumstance of a Governor's phoning the prison at the last minute to cancel the execution:
Warden (elated): Is this the Governor?
Governor: Would you like it to be the Governor?
—By Roger Rosenblatt