Some famous but shy writers have the Times of their lives
If all goes according to plan, print-starved New Yorkers will wake one morning this week to find that yet another daily has apparently joined Rupert Murdoch's Post in reaching a separate peace with the city's striking press unions. The 24-page paper, selling for a rather extortionate newsstand price of $1 (the result of a costlier-than-expected union settlement, the paper explains in a frontpage notice), looks just like the Times, only more so.
The Page One lead story by Timesman R.W. Papple Jr. recounts the brief reign of Pope John Paul John Paul I, who died 19 minutes after the coronation ceremony in which he took the names of three predecessors. Elsewhere on the page is a photo of the Queensboro Bridge falling into the East River under the weight of 10,000 marathon runners. Another story, under the headline FALL SEASON THROWN INTO CONFUSION BY STUDIO 54 BLAZE; ISRAELI REACTION MUTED, tells how the disco burned to the ground after Owner Steve Rubell refused to admit the firemen because they were not chic enough.
A glance at the paper's handy News Summary indicates that not much has changed in the world, or the Times, since the strike began Aug. 9. "The border war between Adibulia (formerly Moax-ablio) and Amoravia (formerly the Shoo-vah), was abruptly broken off yesterday when it was discovered that the two nations share no common boundaries," according to one item.
Unfortunately — or perhaps fortunately — none of the summary items are to be found elsewhere in the paper. But the issue is groaning with typically insightful international reporting (NOTHING OF GREAT SIGNIFICANCE HAPPENING IN AFRICA OF LATE), trenchant Washington analysis (CARTER FORESTALLS EFFORTS
TO DEFUSE DISCORD POLICY), and upscale ads (for Nonwit Teller, Bloomindale's, Eve Saint Laurent's new Heroine perfume, and one white space labeled "This ad stolen by the New York Post").
In the Living section — renamed Having — the paper remains on the cutting edge of contemptuous consumption. One article describes how trendy New Yorkers are tearing down the walls of their apartments to convert them to lofts. There is a guide to the best street corners in town for having one's car windshield washed by a derelict. Food Writer Craig Stillborn describes how to capture and cook the "versatile, if elusive" bat.
The Times's editorial policy continues to reflect the same cosmic concerns as before the strike. WHITHER DEÉTENTE? asks the lead editorial, which never bothers to answer. The editorial page includes the inevitable ode to nature's awesome wonders, titled AUTUMN'S FALL ("Now does the deep-throated maple hush its cheery warble ..."). On the Op-Ed page, Columnist James Rest writes from Balkh, Asia Minor (" 'How are you, Scotty?' asked the Khan, gnawing on a Kurd").