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A typical programmed celebration was the recent wedding of Koji Takahashi, 26, an architect, to Kazuko Hasegawa, 23, at Meiji Memorial Hall, Tokyo's most prestigious marriage parlor. After the simple Shinto ceremony, capped by a sip of ritual sake, the groom, in cutaway coat and silk tie, and the bride, in a dazzling kimono, sat down with their 125 guests to consume a banquet, including lobster salad and ice cream. The master of ceremonies introduced important people from the couple's life—parents, teachers, bosses and friends. The guests offered presents. The current favored gift in Japan is hard cash, mainly to help strapped parents defray the expense of the wedding. Acceptable gifts are $100 for a single guest, $150 per couple. For $18,000, the hall provided the Takahashis with food, invitations, thank-you notes, photographs, kimono and formal wear. The 5-ft. wedding cake, however, was cardboard, except for the bride's traditional slice.
An estimated 90,000 Japanese couples this year will spend their wedding nights in Hawaii, a favorite honeymoon spot. In addition, 5,000 couples elope each year to the islands or remarry there. Wesley Walker and his son Gary, ordained Church of Christ ministers in Honolulu, marry more than 3,000 Japanese couples each year for a modest $300 per ceremony. Most arrive from Tokyo with civil marriage certificates and wait a day before the nuptials to overcome jet lag. Says Denny Walker, family business manager: "One tour company insisted on first-day weddings, and we had a couple of brides fainting at the altar each week."
The wave of Japanese weddings has led to another relatively new and rare Japanese ritual: the divorce ceremony. Japan's baby-boom generation, raised on the Beatles, social protest and affluence, has elevated Japan's divorce rate to an alltime high; three out of ten couples will break up. At a typical split-up rite, guests pay a fee for food and drink. The couple apologize to family and friends and return their rings.
But in truth, divorce is unacceptable to most Japanese. One divorce lawyer recently declared that although more than half of all Japanese couples were unhappily married, their partnerships would endure. Said she: "Japanese are happier to continue the marriage even if it is a bad one."
—By J.D. Reed.
Reported by Alan Tansman/Tokyo