(2 of 4)
Chain Gang. Meanwhile, Cartoonist Tony Auth of the Philadelphia Inquirer drew rock breakers in an Eastern European chain gang whispering, "President Ford declared our independence. Pass it on." And the Richmond News-Leader's Jeff Mac Nelly put Carter in a Texas barroom full of jug-eared Lyndon Johnson lookalikes; the candidate points to a portrait of L.B.J. over the bar and asks, "Say, who is that nasty-lookin' snake up there? He sure is ugly!"
Carter's admission that lust as well as trust can cross his mind is, according to Art Buchwald, "a gift from the gods." The humorist unwrapped the gift and wrote of his own mate eying him keenly at a party for signs of concupiscence. Chicago Tribune Columnist Michael Kilian examines Carter's statements on tax reform and concludes: "I'd much rather have Jimmy look with lust upon my wife than upon my wallet." Cartoonist Pat Oliphant recently drew Carter hiding among peanut sacks in the attic while Rosalynn went after him with a shotgun. "Jimmy Carter's campaign slogan is 'The White House or Bust,' " says Bob Hope. "Trouble is, he's not sure which he wants."
The New York Daily News's Gerald Nachman jests that Carter has also given an interview to Penthouse, admitting that the candidate "not only coveted his neighbor's wife but also his house, his servant, his ass and his ox," and that he took the Lord's name in vain four times while in the Navy. "Well, nobody's perfect," Nachman imagines Carter explaining, "but sometimes I come pretty doggone close." Chicago Daily News Columnist Mike Royko has an admission of his own about hust on the lustings: "I, too, have looked at women with lust. While wearing dark glasses and without. Straight at them and out of the corner of my eye. Even in the rear view mirror... The last time it happened—and I'll never forget it—was about 25 minutes ago."
The ex-Secretary of Agriculture provided the Butz for a cascade of japes, among them the National Observer's John H. Corcoran Jr.'s report that Butz has left Government for "a life of tight smiles, loose shoes and a warm place to regret his oral indiscretions"; Johnny Carson's desire for "a tight announcer, a loose audience and a warm place to do my monologue"; Washington stand-up comedian and syndicated columnist (100 papers) Mark Russell's information that Midwestern Wasps like Butz and Ford want only "no sex, tight shoes and pay toilets."