(2 of 2)
"So your father kicked you out," he said with certainty, and once again my mind went with the wind, and I laughed and relaxed... We talked and I felt very good with him and freer, much freer. "The way out of a room is not through the door," he said, laughing. "Just don't want out and you're free." Then he unfolded a tale of the 20 years he's spent behind bars, of the struggle and the giving up and the loving of himself.
We came back to the fact that I didn't have any place to go. He told me that he was on his way to the woods up north and that I could come with him if I wished. I declined, having obligations to fulfill, having three weeks of my first college semester left. Then I looked at him, wanting to get up, crunching up my face in thought. "Well," he said, moving down the walk. "I can't make up your mind for you." He smiled a soft feeling and was on his way. I grabbed my books, running to catch up with him. I didn't know why−I didn't care−and I never left [him].
∎
Squeaky went with Manson and another girl to Haight-Ashbury, where Manson seemed to be a hero, especially to young women. The first girl was dropped and another, Mary, was picked up in Berkeley. Then the three drove in a 1948 Chevrolet to the little town of Casper, where they found other disaffected flower children and settled in a house in the woods. There Charlie ordered her to "take off your clothes. " Later, after some hesitation on her part, they had sex for the first time.
I felt close to him and layed my head on his shoulder, wanting a daddy to hold me ... I hoped that he would pursue me or touch me, or rape me or anything good really, yet without me giving up to it. It was a little girl-game I wanted to play. But instead he told me: "So, you've been hurt and now you've locked yourself up. You've got all your love tied up in the past, and associated with bad or sad experiences. You wanted your daddy to hit you, didn't you?" It was so and I nodded. As all daughters, I had wanted all the attention I could get from my daddy...
Day by day, we became more aware of Charlie, who was ever aware of us and each tree and each branch and each leaf. The way he explained it was this: "What's happened, see, is me not adjusting to the 'Free World.' I've made up my own world. In other words, I didn't and wouldn't adjust to society and their reality of things."