Americana: Shutting Up Howard

Howard Cosell does go on, and the football fan who wants to watch ABC's Monday night telecasts has no recourse but to bear the polysyllabic palaver. There is no way to strike back—unless you happen to be at the Sweetwater singles bar in Denver. Every Monday night a drawing is held. The winner is given a brick and the right to use it to demolish a used TV bought for the occasion each week. The winner can take aim at any of the ABC announcers, but, says Manager Gerry Brown, "most pick Cosell." Business at the Sweetwater is up fivefold on Mondays. How does Howard react to this deplorable suspension of civility, this disturbing intimation of the violent proclivities of the American citizenry? Says Cosell: "It's beneath me to respond."