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Social kissing takes much of its inspiration from show business, where for years an oscular promiscuity has prevailed. Kissing appeals to show people in part because it is inherently more theatrical than, say, handshaking or nodding. Kisses can be invested with any emotion from the most fervid passion to a hydrochloric malice. They play well. Singer Linda Ronstadt explains it in another way: "The business consists of people who are so desperately insecure and lonely, and they have to have contact: we're all affection junkies."
Satirist Tom Wolfe sees a connection between show business kissing and the new campaign law. The new $1,000 limitation on contributions means, says Wolfe, that "more than ever, people in show business have a tremendous role in campaigns. Through concerts and other entertainments they can deliver a million dollars in a single evening, and in show business, this kissing has become even more rampant than it ever was. Jimmy Carter has to kiss at least 3,000 rock stars—male and female—in the next four years to pay up his debt."
Many Americans get their ideas of social kissing from the television talk shows, which are orgies of lipsmacking. The rituals can be intricate. On Johnny Carson's late-night show, for example, female guests almost invariably kiss Carson: they then confront the question of whether to kiss Announcer Ed McMahon as well. Usually, they do, since McMahon has been elevated over the years from the status of hired help to that of deputy executive star. But what if Doc Severinsen is sitting in?
As the custom of kissing has spread from showfolk to the general population, it has raised innumerable, if minute, questions of rite and protocol. Who initiates the kiss? In a kiss between a man and woman, quite often it is the woman who makes the first move — offering her hand, inclining her cheek. But if the man is, say, the woman's boss or her husband's boss, she may wait until he leans forward into that critical distance with in which the kiss occurs.
If two or more couples meet simultaneously, the cross-kissing begins to resemble the start of a football game, when multiple captains of the two teams must go through all permutations of the hand shake. Sometimes habitual non-kissers avoid kissing the hostess as they come to a party, but will have several drinks and, thus mellowed, will kiss goodnight as they leave, muttering later, "Why did I kiss that woman?" The converse also occurs: people kiss in a warmth of expectation as the evening begins, but then part with awkward handshakes.
Timing is crucial if one is to avoid clumsy lurches and even broken teeth. Aim is vitally important. In social kissing, the lips can strike anywhere from behind the ear to the center of the mouth, depending upon the kisser's fervor or sobriety. Sometimes a talent for evasion helps. Shirley Temple Black, just retired as a U.S. diplomat, says that over the years, "I have developed a dart-and-dodge technique to avoid the kiss on the mouth."