(5 of 5)
BEAZLE: Oh, if only I could believe that! Smog, confuse, obfuscate!
He exits, to invent a cure for clarity and lucidity which he will sell to nine leading pharmaceutical firms. Mr. Flap and General Redstone come forward.
FLAP: Order of magnitude, expedite, implement, reorient, interoccupational mobility, mission oriented—
REDSTONE: Component forces, readiness levels, destruct—
STUDENT: Excuse me—
REDSTONE (ignoring him): Credibility, paramilitary department—wide contingency plans, pre-emptive war, scenario, remote area conflict. . .
FLAP: Expedite, channels, maximize, bureau potential—
STUDENT: Gentlemen, please, I—
DEAN: It's no good, son. Once the civilian and the military start arguing, it can go on for years.
REDSTONE: Circular error probability, target systems, pipeline requirements, deterrent gaps . . . counterinsurgency . . . soft target . . .
The general grinds to a halt. Two enlisted men enter, paint him a neutral olive drab and carry him off to the Pentagon, where he will replace a computer.
FLAP (running down): Extended care facilities . . . oligopoly . . . input . . . phasein . . . interlocking intervention . . . (He creaks, coughs and crawls into a filing cabinet.)
DEAN (handing the student a diploma printed on sheeplike vinyl): We've done all we can for you, son. In George Orwell's paraphrase: "The race is not to the swift—nor the battle to the strong . . . but time and chance—"
STUDENT: I know. "Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compels the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must be taken into account."
DEAN: Exactly. (Moist of eye, he pats the new graduate on the head.) You can now take your pick of careers in medicine, religion, business and geopolitics—as well as wine-tasting and art criticism. And if you fail at everything, there's a job for you at Instant College. (Calling after him as the student exits.) And remember, it is better to curse one candle than to light the darkness . . .
He extinguishes the lights, leaving the audience in blackness as
THE CURTAIN FALLS