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In developing the art of seducing the customer out of his change—it ranges from a hatchick's friendly pat on the shoulder to the Greenwich Village waiter who pursued a nontipper out into the street crying: "No tip! No tip!"—employees around the country have by now established their own argot. A nontipper is universally called a "stiff," while in Boston he is also a "fishball." in New Orleans a "frog," in Seattle a "mossback," in Kansas City a "clutch," in Chicago a "snake" or a "lemon." Someone free with money is a "live one" ,or a "mark."
At the Palmer House in Chicago, a convention city of great tipping expertise, a guest wearing crepe-rubber soles or a golf hat is marked down as a stiff; if his shoes are highly polished and he carries an attache case, he is a live one. Among the best tippers, say the Chicago experts, are furniture men, restaurateurs, clothiers and Shriners; the worst are doctors, Lions Club members, traveling salesmen and politicians. Cadillac owners and people with lots of luggage tend to be poor tippers. And perhaps no one is held lower than the "sanitation specialist." the hotel guest who hides in the bathroom when the bellhop arrives with the suitcases.
Grand Illusion. Ironically, notes a Detroit restaurateur, a well-known stiff often gets better service than a mark, because he is considered a challenge, and waitresses will do everything but tuck his napkin under his chin to see if he can be unstiffened. This points to the larger fact that trying to buy service through tipping is an illusion. The nouveaux riches, or Willis Waydes, have always been far less well served than the notoriously careful aristocratic rich, celebrated in O'Hara. The way some people tip at Boston's Ritz-Carlton, it is easy to see that the Brahmins have managed to hold onto their wealth over the years by prudently avoiding the outstretched hand; after all, why should one pay 15% interest on one's dinner when one's investments bring in only 5% or 6%?
This attitude serves to underscore the idea that service is a matter of organization, morale and tradition, first, and of tipping last. Some of the best service in the U.S. is given by untipped but thoroughly indoctrinated airlines stewardesses, whose performance is far superior to that of heavily tipped ship stewards and of most other service employees on the ground. And no one suggests that store sales personnel, generally terrible across the U.S., could be improved through tipping.
The Basic Rules. Chances are that, for all their complaints, it is the tippers themselves who perpetuate the custom, not because it really gains them better service but because it gives them a certain sense of power and comfort. Every headwaiter in the country knows that a man with a girl whom he wants to impress is an easy mark. Women, who in general are notorious mossbacks, often wildly overtip their personal hairdressers, whom they want to keep happy as their confidants, part-time analysts, gossipmongers and flatterers.