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Who Is a Communist? During last year's Austrian elections, a quip was heard around the polls: "Nobody who owns a watch is Communist in Austria." When the returns were in, the Communists had managed to roll up only 5% of the country's vote (the Volkspartei polled some 50%, the Socialists some 45%). From their brief intermezzo of glory under Russia's exclusive occupation, they retained only one dull portfolio (Power & Electricity) and three seats in Parliament.
The Russians were deeply disappointed in their Austrian comrades. When Clark and Konev recently discussed Austrian politicians, the name of Austria's lanky, long-haired Communist Boss Ernst Fischer came up. Said Clark, half jesting, half in earnest: "I don't like him because he is a Communist." Said Konev: "That's fine, I don't like him either because he is an Austrian Communist."
The Russians have tried hard to fight their own and Communism's unpopularity: to gain music-loving Vienna's favor, they ordered opera performances to be resumed last May. It was symbolic of Austrian-Russian relations that the Viennese claimed a singer in The Marriage of Figaro had been raped three times by Russian soldiers the day before the opening. To Vienna the chief villain is General Alexei Zheltov, Konev's second in command, who is believed by most observers to be more powerful than Konev. Zheltov is a member of the NKVD, is secretive about his past, talks suavely, narrows his eyes when he gets excited, was once a wrestler (220 Ibs.) and is usually described by U.S. correspondents as bullnecked. (Recently he insisted on finding out what the word meant, was furious when he did.)
Who May Play Cards? The Austrians like the Americans well enough. Viennese, who have good-naturedly renamed jeeps Schlampenschlepper (hussy buggies), fraternize with zest. But Austrians live in an old, proud civilization, still sprinkled with feudal glitter; while they fear that Russia might smash it completely, they are not so sure that the Americans, with their strange, casual-tough ways, might not harm it too. They would like to get rid of all occupiers, Eastern and Western alike. Viennese cabaret skits express their mood. Samples:
¶ Columbus stands in awe before a gang of drinking, striking, shooting Americans. Says he: "I can't possibly discover America. What would they say in Europe when I tell them what I have seen?"
¶ The Congress of Vienna convenes in 1815 (though it looks suspiciously like the Foreign Ministers Conference in Paris, 1946). Wellington, Talleyrand and Alexander, Czar of all the Russias, are about to sit down to a game of cards with Austria's Metternich. Cries the Czar: "Austria play cards on an equal basis with the big powers? Impossible!"