Rolling a professional eye at the saga of the first Roman Catholic to win the presidency, Historian (Giants of Justice) Albert Vorspan, 37, concocted "a whimsical fantasy" titled "A Jew in the White House," for the current American Judaism (circ. 220,000), official magazine of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations, Excerpts:
IT all began at the political convention in 1984 (honest).
Even the most obvious dark horses had fallen by the wayside in the marathon balloting, when the name of Jacob Meyer, the popular mayor of Minneapolis, emerged out of nowhere: a Jew! Dare we nominate a Jew? Can a Jew be elected? The 40th ballot began. Suddenly. Jacob Meyer received an urgent note asking for an immediate private meeting with the leaders of the American Jewish Human Relations Council. (Three other Jewish organizations were waiting in three other rooms with three different views to express, but he didn't know.) The head of the organization said: "Jacob, we urge you not to do it. You will open the floodgates of hatred." The morning after his historic nomination, the nominee was surprised to receive a telegram from the same Jewish organization, hailing his nomination as a "triumph of the American dream that neither religion nor race is a barrier to public office." The telegram also asked him to endorse the organization's statement that there is no such thing as a "Jewish vote," and that Americans vote solely on the basis of what is best for America. Summoning his assistant, Meyer said: "Brady, tell them I endorse their sentiments completely. Then get Herb. Pete and Pat on the telephone and tell them to go to work on the Jewish voters in New York.
California and Illinois. I need 80% in those states or I'm a dead duck." There was. as predicted, a good deal of nastiness in the campaign that brought Meyer to the presidency. One hundred leaders issued a manifesto raising the "religious issue." Could a member of the Jewish faith be objective to Israel?
Would he have to bow out of important negotiations because shrimp is served? Could he light the Christmas tree in the White House?
And so, Jacob Meyer became the first Jewish President.
Although Meyer ran a scrupulously ethical Administration, it was not long before there was rumbling about the President's "kitchen cabinet." (One wag said a Jewish President should have "two kitchen cabinets," one for milk and one for meat.) The President's 15-year-old son, Hiram, and his 25-year-old daughter, Deborah, both had to be lifted bodily from their beds every Saturday morning to be marched to the synagogue with the family for the waiting photographers.
There was, of course, only one Jew in the Cabinet. As Meyer confided to a friend, "If you wanted more Jews, you should have picked another Roman Catholic President." The President soon pushed through a constitutional amendment creating a Vice President in Charge of Fund Raising. Indeed, voluntary contributions soon displaced the income tax. Techniques which had proved themselves in the United Jewish Appeal soon began to work for the United States. No one batted an eye when the president of U.S.