Education: Zigzag & Swirl

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Alfred Lawson fixed the committee with a steady gaze and nimbly dodged a barrage of questions from Michigan's Senator Blair Moody. How much had the machines been sold for? "I don't know. I never go in for figures at all." Had Lawson made any profit on the deal? "Profit? Why no. What profit could I get out of it?" What courses were taught at the school? "Well, they teach Lawsonomy." And that deals with mechanics? "[It teaches] the knowledge of life and everything pertaining thereto, and that takes in mechanics." Finally Lawson got exasperated. "God, boy," he cried at 50-year-old Senator Moody, "if you want me to tell you all these things, you will wreck my mind . . . I'm thinking great philosophical thoughts for the benefit of mankind."

The Senators kept at it for almost two hours but never managed to pin Lawson down. Finally they let him go with an order to come back later with his account books. Educator Lawson hopped out of his chair and headed for the door. "The damnedest thing I've ever heard of in all my life," he snorted. Said Senator Moody: "I don't know whether we're talking about the same thing, but I'm inclined to agree with you."

* A liberal arts college which shut down in 1929 when its owners, the Baptist Bible Union of North America, ran into financial troubles.

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