(4 of 6)
The Enthusiast. Twelve is an age of enthusiasm. Twelve rushes headlong into debates without really knowing what he is going to say; he may be so anxious to join a certain activity that he may knock things over on the way. Unlike Eleven, who tended to hoard his money, Twelve is sometimes such a spendthrift that he is often flat broke. As one mother put it, "He can't stand prosperity." He is far more concerned about his appearance but only up to a point. A girl might spend hours primping in front of a mirror, yet go off to a party with a dirty neck. Boys will proudly wear ties they consider sharp, "but that does not mean that they do not wish to wear their sneakers—even to church."
This is an age for fads and for a new acceptance of the opposite sex. "No twelve-year-old party can be guaranteed immune from some form of kissing game—a most natural expression for Twelve." But while some of the girls are already thinking about marriage, some boys are determined to remain bachelors forever. The boys develop an apparently irresistible desire to tease a girl. "Soon they are snatching a girl's wallet or pencil box and are off to hide it."
Twelve is kinder to his parents. Instead of openly telling a father he is too fat, a boy will simply exclaim: "What a physique!" He is also kinder to his teacher, but if a teacher is obviously unsure of herself, Twelves will begin hurling spitballs or coughing in unison. They are not much concerned about the afterlife: "They give the problem willingly over to the philosophers." But they are altruists and even sensitive to the feelings of others. "If he must step on adult toes," says Gesell, "he does so lightly, and may even deliberately choose the most pyschological moment for a diplomatic approach."
The Worrier. If Twelve is blithe, Thirteen is reflective, abstracted. He may join the family to watch TV for a while, but he will abruptly rise and leave the room for no reason at all. He often likes to be alone, begins locking up his possessions to keep them from younger brothers and sisters. He makes detailed criticisms of his parents' faults, and his parents are often hurt by his constant withdrawal or by his tendency to lavish his affection on a friend.
Though his emotions are under firmer control, he is painfully sensitive and can feel an intense sadness. If he is hard on others, he is even harder on himself. He spends more time than ever in front of the mirror, and there can be "agonizing concern if the reflected image proves too disappointing." Thirteen is a worrier. "He says himself that he 'worries about most everything,' or that he worries that he is going to worry."