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"It may be noted here that apart from all the other hardships endured by women in this war the small humiliations of shopping have been the most difficult to bear. N. Gubbins, Esq. can remember a day when his life partner smiled up into the face of a butcher and begged for a bone to make some soup. When he replied : 'I believe you had a bone a fortnight ago. There are other people who want bones besides you,' there were murmurs of approval from other women in the shop and the life partner of N. Gubbins, Esq., retired in confusion. . . .
"N. Gubbins, Esq., has bought only one new suit of clothes since 1938, and may now be regarded as the worst-dressed man in Britain. . . .
"Kitten Power in the war against vermin: . . . The achievement of Sally the Cat, producing kittens to deal with this menace, are worth noting. . . . Production remained at a fairly steady level of three litters a year . . . averaging 2% kittens a litter. . . . This is regarded as a war effort far exceeding that of. any other belligerent cat in the Allied camp and may be favorably compared to the output of Katinka Pusskin, champion mother cat of Russia and Heroine of the Soviet Union.
"Expenditures: ... Of these, income tax was by far the greatest, though as the price of alcohol increased, the expenditure on this pardonable indulgence in wartime was in clanger of reaching the income-tax level. . . . It was observed that the consumption of alcohol by N. Gubbins, Esq., increased during air raids. . . . It was also noticed that the rate of consumption was highest when the alert was sounding and lowest when the all-clear was heard. . . ."