Lord Beaverbrook's flamboyant Sunday Express of London is one of Britain's most popular papers. One reason: Nathaniel Gubbins, a 50-year-old, pink-faced fellow who looks like a shy insurance agent whose feet hurt. Nathaniel (real name: Norman) Gubbins is a columnist.
Once a week Nat Gubbins speaks for the British man-in-the-street better than the British man-in-the-street can speak for himself. Dry-eyed sentimentalist, sly humorist, casual reformer, recorder of mutton-headed remarks, he has become the most widely read of British columnists. He has no U.S. parallel. His column, "Sitting On The Fence," is a kind-of literary comic strip, in which various permanent characters comment obliquely or directly on the affairs of men.
Conversations. When the British obviously had Rommel on the run in Egypt last November, "Sitting On The Fence" voiced the national sentiments in a dialogue between Gubbins and The Chimney Sweep :
"Well, cor stone the crows," said the Sweep. " 'ow do you think things are gettin' along now?"
"Not so bad," I said.
"Not so bad at all," said the Sweep, "and 'specially considerin' little old 'itler said we was military idiots. . . . Cor strike a light. If we'd 'ad any military sense at all we'd 'ave packed up in June 1940."
"We would," I said. . . .
"But you don't want to start slackin' orf just because we've 'ad a victory," said the Sweep. ". . . Keep up your 'ome Guard and keep your stirrup pumps 'andy."
"That's right," I said.
"Though seein' we don't often 'ave a victory," said the Sweep, "there's no reason wliy you shouldn't 'ave a pint."
"Thank you," I said.
" 'ere's to the military idiots." said the Sweep. ". . . Cor sufferin' wars. Cor chase old auntie Rommel round the sand 'eaps."
Another sample Gubbins dialogue, between two Germans in a Berlin raid shelter:
"Vot vos dot?"
"Dot vos a bompf."
"Und vot der veight of der bompf iss?"
"Der veight of der bompf two tons vos."
"Der last time der veight of der bompf two tons iss der Stinkenhausenstrasse no more vos."
"For saying dot Hans to der concentration camp haf gone. Heil Hitler."
"Heil Hitler. . . ."
"Poddon. But vot vos dot?"
"Dot vos a four-ton bompf."
"Der last time der veight of der bompf four tons iss der town hall, der hotel, der railroad station und der gas vorks no more vos."
"For saying dot Hermann to der concentration camp haf gone. Heil Hitler."
Characters. Of all Gubbins characters, Sally the Cat is perhaps best-liked. She is Winston Churchill's favorite. Currently she is being urged by Gubbins to marry The Ginger Cat of London's Maida Vale, a real animal who recently actually inherited £4,000. Says Sally: "I will never marry for anything but love." Jeers Gubbins: "You've never married anybody at all yet, although you're the mother of 109 kittens." Other Gubbins creations: