A furtive, sharp-nosed, bandy-legged little man in peasant sackcloth kept trying persistently one night last week to get into the Palace of Emperor Haile Selassie at Addis Ababa. Darting through the outer gate, the little man was instantly collared by a sentry. The sentry called a sergeant and after much whispering the little man was released, promptly sneaked through the second gate and was pounced on again, once more whispered, was once more identified and got away. Easing through the third gate the little man was almost strangled by a pantherlike sentry, but again a sergeant and more whispers worked their magic and on he sneaked. At the fourth and final gate he jabbered so plausibly in shrill tones that he was freely passed by the final sentry. Flying into a towering rage at this, the little man threw off his disguise and as Emperor of Ethiopia tongue-lashed the trembling fourth sentry, ordered him into chains. On the three dutiful sentries their Emperor conferred medals.
Two days later a sentry was killed by one of Emperor Haile Selassie's "domesticated" lions as five of the great beasts escaped, clawed five more sentries in their bolt out of the Palace. Though His Majesty calls himself "Conquering Lion of Judah" and makes special pets of lions, the five Beast Kings were finally mowed down with a machine gun last week by Colonel Mekouria of the Imperial Guard. Next at Addis Ababa came the paganistic maypole ritual with which Ethiopians every year open the dry season, their season of battle. Since this festival is always an orgy of savagery, the swart Emperor at first politely told foreign diplomats they were not invited, then sent them belated invitations last week to please his War Minister, picturesque Ras Mulu Getta who kept shouting, "Let's show these foreigners!"
In the end, to keep the Italian Minister, Count Vinci-Gigliucci from being lynched, the Emperor had to seat that diplomat close to himself. Brandishing ancient guns and showing empty cartridge belts, fierce tribesmen kept shouting at their sovereign, "Give us bullets! We want to shoot!" Meanwhile Ethiopia's Coptic clergy, supposed to play a prominent role in celebrating the end of the rainy season, were repeatedly driven indoors by a violent tropical storm which raged around His Majesty with shrill tempest screeches until the ground was covered with three inches of water and pasteboard coronation emblems were washed from the Triumphal Arch.
Anything but damped in ardor, 12,000 Ethiopian soldiers began a war dance in the mud, roared, "Death to the Italians!" and finally became so threatening that some had to be driven with bayonets off the steps of the Throne. Ethiopian officers leaped about with such prized weapons as rifles, a favorite routine being to drop to the ground, pretend to fire, then leap up with a whoop. Finally, excited Dedjazmatch (General) Bayenna led a shrieking cavalry charge past the Throne and wheeled about to cry, "Emperor, fear not the politics of the outer world! The Gods are with us!''